


Don't Call Me Sweetheart Part 2

by herbivoredinosaur



Series: Resisting Fate [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Dean Winchester, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Fic, Resistance, Scenting, True Mates, alpha reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-09-24 07:09:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20354434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herbivoredinosaur/pseuds/herbivoredinosaur
Summary: Three things you never thought possible.1, being back in the bunker. 2, seeing Dean again. 3, a baby.The end of the world sure was full of surprises.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> PSA 1 - This is the sequel to Don't Call Me Sweetheart (recommended reading before reading this)
> 
> PSA 2 - There is a happy ending (promise)
> 
> PSA 3 - BABY. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

* * *

**Months later.**

It took a week to stop letting the pain show, then you got good at hiding it, so everyone thought you were over it. Over the idea that your time in the bunker mattered, that you found a family, a mate, true mate and that they left you. Dean left you. Yeah, you got good at hiding it because you had to.

After the initial week of pain, sick of crying and feeling pathetic you turned it into anger. Anger was a better emotion for an alpha. You went on mission after mission killing anything you could get your hands on. Eileen tried to tell you to calm down, but you growled at her, so she stopped trying. You never had done that before to her. It took Donna stepping in to reel you back.

Now you were feeling somewhat back to normal. If normal felt like this, like your body was missing a limb constantly. Sometimes you’d feel circles being drawn into your body, sometimes you could swear it really happened. Eileen would pull you back to yourself when your eyes drifted into that thousand-mile stare she called it. She’d ask where you went. You’d lie every time. The idea of telling her anyone with a khaki jacket or red hair pulled you back to the bunker seemed stupid. They left. You stayed.

The new captain kept you on your toes. Donna couldn’t wait for you to get over the pain. The camp needed a captain. You were fine with it though, captains rarely got to leave the camp unless it was a big mission. You didn’t want to lose the edge of going on missions, killing things, saving people it was what you were meant to do. The captain saw that in you and utilized it.

“Lieutenant Y/L/N!” he called out to you while you were loading up the vehicle with Eileen. You handed Eileen your duffel bag. The captain stood with his hands in his pockets, looking nervous oddly enough.

“Captain,” You jogged up to him. “Everything ok?”

He stalled for a moment, eyes casting between you and Eileen behind loading the vehicle. You were getting ready for a mission, just the two of you. A favour being called in from another resistance group asking for assistance. One of the groups from the vampire army. Again, intel was slim due to the worries of others hearing over the radio signals.

“You could be gone for some time. I came to wish you well,” He eventually came out with. You raised a brow curious at that remark. He didn’t do well wishes. “You will be missed.” Was added quietly at the end. Oh. That was what was happening. The beta captain’s cheeks flushing the tiniest. That sweet scent of affection making its way to you. You stuck your hands into your pockets unsure how to handle this.

“Captain…”

“That was all.” He turned on his heel and walked away head low between his shoulders. You sighed. Eileen was leaning against the vehicle with a smirk on her face.

“Did you know?”

“The whole camp knows,” She shrugged. You got into the jeep, slamming the door shut. The last thing you needed was the whole camp talking about you and the captain. Eileen hopped into the driver’s side. “Might be a nice distraction for you.”

“I don’t need distracting.” You were fine, just fine.

“Whatever you say Y/N.”

“Just drive.” You snapped. Eileen didn’t press it. You felt ever since you growled at her she was wary of it happening again. A part of you missed when you were on the same level, you never once went all alpha on her till then. The look in her eyes, the fear on her skin filled you with guilt when it happened. No amount of sorry seemed to have made it better in your mind. The only distraction you needed was this mission.

* * *

The trip was quiet. Eileen needed to concentrate on the road. With it being just the two of you, one of you had to sleep while the other drove and kept a look out. It was exhausting. You were regretting just taking her with you, adamant you didn’t need someone else. The idea of spending more than two days in the car with anyone else but her was painful.

Eileen nudged you awake during her shift. You stirred reaching for your hand gun on instinct.

“What?”

“I’m falling asleep.” She yawned. You checked your watch.

“You’ve only been driving for three hours.”

“I only got five hours sleep of shit sleep. I need a proper sleep Y/N.” her eyes were drooping as she spoke. You sat up in the front seat peering outside.

“We can’t stop out here, we are… where even are we?” you looked around in the dark, like that was somehow going to help you figure out where you were.

“Kansas.” _Hell no_.

“I’ll drive.” You said in a yawn. You were tired, shattered even. Seeking a resistance nearby for some refuge was not happening. Eileen knew what resistance group lived in Kansas too. She talked to Sam when they stayed during the vampire army ambush. 

“Suck it up and tell me where the bunker is,” you tried to defend yourself, but Eileen was done with you. “Your stubbornness is not getting us killed out here and besides I thought you were fine now.”

“I am.” You lied.

“Well then, lead the way lieutenant.” You knew what she was doing. You were not going to rise to it. Eileen looking for you to admit that you were not over it, that you never got over it, not really. The alpha in you wouldn’t let it though. You didn’t take the bait. Eileen swapped seats with you and you drove towards the bunker. This was going to be fun.

* * *

Showing up unannounced wasn’t a great idea but you had no other choice. It took an hour’s drive and the exhaustion was consuming you. Eileen was almost asleep on your shoulder when you knocked on the front of the bunker hoping someone was going to be awake.

Cas opened the door. Of course, the angel doesn’t sleep. He had his blade in his hand wary of who was coming to the bunker in the middle of the night.

“Y/N,” his monotone voice rang through you. The extra tightness in him eased up, now he was only his usual tightness. You tried not to think too hard that you still remembered what the usual tightness of the angel looked like. “What are you doing here?”

“We’re on our way to another resistance but we eh…”

_“Who the hell is it Cas?” _another voice came from downstairs. Bobby.

Cas stepped aside. Eileen went first clearly not uncomfortable with this situation. You were hesitant. The grip of your duffel bag keeping you grounded. It had been months since you’ve been here, since you’ve seen Cas. His piercing blue eyes staring at you unapologetically. You wished you could know what he was feeling, just the faintest scent to give you something to work with. He was a blank slate.

When you stepped over the threshold Cas’s hand went to your shoulder, turning you into him for a hug. A hug from an angel. This was new to you, even when you stayed here, he wasn’t overly affectionate towards you. He smelled like Dean. That hurt. It hurt you remembered what he smelled like. Months, it had been months and even the faintest scent brought you back.

“I’m glad you are here Y/N.” Something must be off for him to say that, not that it should concern you. 

“It’s just for one-night Cas.” You stepped back from him. If you were going to do this, you needed to do it removed, like a soldier. It was just to sleep, regain energy before you continued on and put this bunker behind you again, for good this time.

Going down the stairs your entrance had woken up most of the bunker. Claire, Jody, Charlie, Bobby and Sam standing in the war room in their pajamas all sleepy eyed and hair array. Sam was talking to Eileen, a small tired smile on his face. You spotted Dean leaning against the arch between the library and the war room. He was staring at the ground, if his jaw was any tighter looking it would be locked. This wasn’t a good idea, but you needed to sleep.

“We need to crash here tonight. We’ve been driving nonstop.” Eileen told the group. There was no point telling the group. The decision rested with Dean. He scratched his growing stubble, almost a beard now debating it in his mind. Everyone waited.

“I want them gone in the morning.” He said and with that he walked off back into the library.

It seemed with Dean gone, the rest of them relaxed. You didn’t know if the tiredness in you or if you were reading it wrong, but they were relieved. If that relief was with Dean leaving or with you being there was yet to be decided. You weren’t going to be finding out though.

Jody put you back in your room, or the room you stayed in. When you were pulling off your trousers you saw a shadow cast on the other side of the door. It hovered. There it was, that call inside of you, Dean on the other side of the door. You stood up, debating going to the door. He left before you made up your mind.

You pressed your hands into your tired eyes, fighting back memories.

As promised, you were gone in the morning.

* * *

You and Eileen arrived at the other resistance by the evening time, rested. The abandoned inn was covered in wards, standard resistance protocol when hiding out in buildings. There was something off though. That alpha part of you rising to the occasion. You had to trust it.

“What’s wrong?” Eileen could tell you were scoping the area out more than usual. You hopped out of the vehicle, hand reaching for your handgun in the back of your jeans. Eileen followed suit, falling in line behind you. For a resistance of ten, the place was oddly quiet, and no one was on watch.

There was part of you that thought back to that ghost, your first mission with the bunker resistance.

Then you heard a baby’s cry.

You ran into the building following that noise, jumping over bodies lifeless on the ground. It wasn’t a smart thing, part of you knew that. You didn’t know what was in there, all you had was your handgun and a blade on you. Your protective instinct was in over drive though, especially the more bodies you stepped over. You had counted at least eight on your way to the room where the cries were coming from.

When you got to the cries the baby was being held by a beta. Their back was turned to you. Another body was on the ground by the crib. You recognised it as the pregnant beta from the army vampire ambush, dead. The lack of love in the room made you keep your gun up and alert. The pup was terrified.

“Beautiful, isn’t he?” the woman turned. The Saviour symbol etched into her forehead. She knew you weren’t about to shoot her with the baby in her hands.

“Put the baby down.” You stepped closer to the Saviour. His cries were getting louder, tears streaming down his face. The Saviour tried to hush it, also making it hard for you to get a safe shot. There were gunshots downstairs. The loud noise started the baby even more.

“A perfect soul, so pure, so untouched by this world.” The Saviour said. Too mesmerized by the baby you got close enough to put your gun into the Saviours back.

“Give me the baby, now.” You pressed it into her spine.

“The angels will be so happy, a baby. Do you know how long it has been since a pup was born?” she kept talking. The cult brain too strong in her to even comprehend what was going on. That you were about to shatter her spine. All you cared about was that this baby didn’t fall. You weren’t too sure how to do it. You shot the Saviour, the pup fell. Could you grab the baby before it fell? There were too many variables, none of them sure enough for you.

“Y/N.” Eileen was behind you. You looked over your shoulder. Eileen with her gun out ready to take down the Saviour. You dropped your gun, grabbed the baby and stepped back, shielding the baby from the Saviour with your body as fast as you could humanly manage. The Saviour called out but was cut short. Gun shots startled the baby again. His cries so loud against your chest.

“Shush, it’s okay baby, shush,” You ran your hand over its head gently trying to soothe it. Every part of you screaming protect. Eileen checked the baby’s mother to make sure she was dead. The sigh from her was your answer. Fuck. “Is the place clear?”

“For now, we’re not safe here. Every Saviour in a hundred-mile radius is going to be after this pup.”

“How many resistance bodies did you count?”

“10.” She tucked her gun back behind her back and slid yours into your thigh holster.

“Fuck, that was the whole group.” You rocked the baby softy. His whimpers coming down a bit. He pressed himself closer to you, moving his head to get closer to your neck. You shifted him letting his head rest on your shoulder. His little hands tried to grip onto your shirt collar. You needed to get out of here she was right.

“Pick up everything baby related you can, then we’re going.” You saw the baby’s mother holding onto a dark green blanket with the name Jack stitched into it. Kneeling down you took it out of her hands and wrapped the pup in it, wrapped Jack in it.

“Going where? Back to the camp? That’s a suicide mission.”

“To the bunker.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You arrive back to the bunker with Jack and learn what it means to be a care-giver to the pup.

* * *

You were less than hesitant the second time coming back to the bunker. Too preoccupied with the baby you were hiding in your arms for niceness. Bobby opened the door and you barged in with Eileen in tow.

“Where’s Jody?” you asked walking down the stairs.

“I’m right here sweetie, what’s…” you uncovered Jack from the blanket revealing him to the place. His eyes adjusting to the light after being hidden for the last few hours. Jody gasped a little.

“Holy shit.” Claire cursed running into the war room after hearing the front door open. Jack stretched in your arms, a small gurgle coming out of his mouth. He snuggled up on your shoulder.

“You were a Mom, right? I mean, you can do Mom things,” You said pacing with the baby in your arms. “I don’t know shit about babies.” This was the longest period you had ever hold a baby in your life, including your sister.

“Well, they seem to like you,” Jody noted. She walked behind you to get a proper look at Jack. “Looks healthy, nice chubby pup, aren’t you?” she cooed in a baby voice. Jack gurgled again.

“His name is Jack,” Eileen said. “I grabbed as much baby things as I could.” She put the bag on the war table. There wasn’t much, two bottles, some formula, cloth diapers, baby grows, a soother and the blanket he was wrapped in. You brought what you could carry and what was within eyesight.

“What happened?” Claire asked taking a seat at the table.

“Saviours. They slaughtered them all, didn’t even take their souls.”

“They were after the pup, Christmas and Easter all wrapped up into one with that kind of soul," Bobby said. "I mean how old is that baby?” 

“Not even 3 months I’d say,” Jody was sifting through the baby things. “We’re going to need more formula. Bobby get in touch with that hoarding traveler contact of yours, see if he has any.”

“Where are the others?” Eileen asked.

“Heard about a surge in Saviour sightings in the state, now we know why.”

You kept walking around with Jack. You felt safer you were here, underground, warded off and completely off the grid. No one knew about this place. You kept whispering to him you were safe now. His scent was calming down too, the more you held onto him. If you hadn’t had slept here, if you had just kept driving, they might have stayed alive. His Mother didn’t have to die. It was too late for those thoughts. You had to protect him from that ever happening again. He was safe here.

Jack started mouthing at your skin. That was new.

“Eh Jody, he’s trying to eat me.”

“Somebody’s hungry,” She grabbed the formula and bottles from the bag. “C’mon, we’ll give him a bottle.” She waved you to follow her. Right, he was mouthing at your skin because he was looking for food. Food you couldn’t give him because you weren’t his Mother. His Mother was dead, lying in an abandoned inn decomposing. Jack slobbered on you bringing you back. Right, food.

* * *

Jody showed you how to feed him. You had tried to pawn him off to her, but he wasn’t having any of it, holding onto you and frowning. The last thing you wanted was the baby to cry. He had cried enough today for a lifetime. You got the hang of it quick enough. Jack held onto your hand as he drank. It gave you a chance to look at him properly. His soft tuft of chestnut hair, his light brown slightly amber eyes staring up at you, button nose and pinky cheeks. He had cute little fat rolls. His baby grow was a little dirty though. You spotted a fleck of blood on his belly. That was unsettling.

“We’ll change you after this alright little guy?” you spoke softly to him. Jody hovered around you. It helped. You didn’t know babies. You knew how to survive in the end of the world but babies? Not in your repertoire. It didn’t have to be. He finished the bottle fast, clearly hungry.

“Now he needs to be winded,” Jody came to sit beside you. You looked at her like she had ten heads. She laughed. “Sit him up on one knee, one hand on his chest, the other on his back and rub it.” she used her hand to show you the motions to make. Donna showed you how the difference between a shot gun and a hand gun, how to kill a vampire compared to a shapeshifter. Now you had Jody showing you how to make a bottle, how to wind and probably how to change a diaper when it came to it. When Jack burped you found yourself praising him. Jody gave you a fond smile you couldn’t quite place.

* * *

His baby grows weren’t clean enough. You refused to put him in one till they were cleaned. Claire had given you one of her tops to put on Jack. He kicked up a fuss. You grabbed a spare top from your duffel bag to put on him, he was content with that. The black t-shirt he drowned in, but he was happy, so you were ok with it, at least till his own clothes were cleaned. Jody showed you how to change a diaper too. That was interesting, slightly terrifying.

She was adding things to a list as you two went along with the baby activities. Nappy cream, wipes, bibs, the list continued. You weren’t too sure how much of that you were going to find. It would be a miracle considering, then again there hasn’t been a baby in a few years in the area. According to the Saviour anyway, so maybe it wasn’t as scarce as adult necessities were.

* * *

You ate dinner with Jack lying on the table beside you. The pillow fort around him kept him safe as you wolfed down whatever Bobby put together, some tomato soup and tinned vegetable concoction. Food lost its excitement. It was just energy now. Jack was content enough with his soother in his mouth when the door to the bunker opened up. They were home.

“We’re back!” Charlie shouted out minus the bitches she tended to add.

“You ready for some fun?” you whispered to Jack. He gripped onto your thumb as you rested your hand on his tummy. “If you want to shit yourself now, please do.” You added as the boys made their way down the stairs behind Charlie.

“I know it was you who put the note on my back Dean.”

“Cas, I’m telling you it wasn’t me.” his voice mid laugh at Cas’s expense. The smile on his face quickly vanished when he saw you at the table. His eyes flicking from the baby back to you. He was trying to do quick math in his head as if the baby was his. Clearly someone didn’t listen enough in biology class. Pregnancy only being able to happen during a heat. You did not fuck in your heat, as much as you wanted to. That thought needed to go fast. Jack spat out his soother in a cry. Perfect timing.

“Tell me that is not the pup the Saviours are looking for?” Dean asked finger pointing towards you with a raise alpha voice. The first time he has spoken to you in months, full of pissed off and anger.

“Fine, I won’t.” You replied. Jack could feel you were tense. It unsettled him as did Dean’s raised voice. You put your fork down and picked up Jack to place him on your shoulder to calm him. Also taking a tip from the Saviour, no one is going to hurt you with a baby in your arms. Hopefully not even Dean. 

“Okay, no shouting around Jack.” Jody stepped in as a barrier between you two.

“Jack?” Sam asked. He was more cautious. The level headed six-foot four beta came over to you wanting to see the baby. Who wouldn’t want to see Jack? He was adorable as far as you were concerned. Jack moved his head when Sam came into his view. The smile on Sam’s face warm and kind to Jack. “Hey there.” He whispered. His pinkie finger going up for Jack to grip.

Jack hid in your neck. You could not let this slide anymore. If Jack was seeing you as an alpha, then you could show him that it was ok to trust other people if you also trusted them.

“We like Sam, Jack.” You told him. The room was looking at you now in silence, even Dean watched on as you talked to Jack. “He’s a good guy,” Jack didn’t seem convinced. You shifted Jack down into your arms so he could see you. Sam stayed behind looking down at him. “Gimme your…” you reached down to take Sam’s thumb and brought it up to Jack’s hand. “See Jack, Sam is a friend.” You spoke softly with a hint of alpha slowly bringing Sam’s thumb into Jack’s grip. He took it in his grasp.

A wash of happiness came over Sam. It was hard not to smile at it.

“I need a drink.” Dean grunted and stomping out of the war room.

“I’ll talk to him.” Sam pulled his thumb away from Jack to follow his brother. Charlie came up next hesitantly. Jack’s eyes went between yours and Charlie’s.

“Can you make the kid like me too?” she asked. You chuckled.

“Me too.” Claire piped up. You introduced Jack to them all, including Cas though Jack immediately liked him without any convincing needed. His hand reaching for him before you got Cas’s name out. The angel smiled.

“Is he ok?” you asked Cas. He could pick up on infections, diseases and whatever else angels could do.

“I can sense no health problems,” Cas rubbed Jack’s little hand. “Dean will come around Y/N.”

“He seems different, angrier.” You rocked Jack in your arms. His eyes getting sleepy.

“He has been like that since…” the angel trailed off. The others avoided looking at you two.

“Since?”

“Since the vamp army,” Bobby said. Jody shot him a look. “What? She was going to find out sooner or later and besides I am done keeping secrets from family.”

_Family. _Those words hit you hard. Pain, anger, regret all rolled into one.

“I think Jack needs to go to sleep.” You walked towards the hall. Jody followed after you. You couldn’t look at Bobby, not after that. Today had been hard enough without uprooting all of that too. Jack needed you not to have a break down. He needed you to be strong.

You made a make shift bed for him with a drawer in the desk in your room, in the room you were staying in. Jody found some blankets to pack it up and make if comfy for him. You tucked him in with the green blanket. His amber eyes drooping, and sucking soother sounds were making you sleepy too. It had been a long day. Jody left you two to sleep.

* * *

Jack woke you up in the middle of the night crying. You picked him up trying to put the soother into his mouth. He spat it out mouthing at your skin slobbering it. Food. There was a bottle in the fridge already made. Before you had a chance to get up from the edge of your bed the door opened.

“Can you shut that damn baby up?” the tired gruff of Dean peering his head through your door. You could just make his silhouette out in the darkness.

“He needs his bottle. It’s in the fridge,” you turned on your side lamp. Dean’s face looking like why were you telling him that information. “You want him to shut up, go heat it up and bring it back to me.” shooing him with your free hand to go get it already.

“Fine.” And with that he left. You could hear his bare foot steps over the concrete floors. Jack continued to slobber on you, and you let him. It beats a crying Jack. He already woke one alpha up. You didn’t need him waking up two. A sleeping Bobby was not to be tested.

When Dean came back, bottle in his hand Jack had drooled all over your pyjama top. You grabbed the bottle off of him, tipped it out onto your hand to see if it was the right temperature.

“I did that already.”

“You did?” surprise in your tone. Dean leaned against the desk, arms and legs crossed in his grey pyjama bottoms and black tee. The tiredness had worn off of him, now awake similar to you.

“My Mom used to do it for Sammy’s bottles.” He shrugged like it was nothing. You nodded placing the bottle in Jack’s mouth. He took it eagerly. The sound of him drinking filled the room. It was odd that Dean was staying, part of you thought he would have left the first chance he got, part of you glad he was staying. That split in you still present as ever.

“When my sister was born, I never really paid enough attention,” Jack held onto you with his hands again like he did earlier. “Never fed her, never changed her.” his big eyes staring up at you full of innocence. Little did he know what world he was being born into; little did your sister know either.

Dean coughed, probably sensing your sadness.

You shook the memory away. Dean stayed till Jack finished his bottle. It didn’t take long, he liked to eat. You sat him up on her leg to wind him. Dean watched as you rubbed Jack’s back till the burps came out. He erupted a loud one making Dean chuckle.

“He does big burps.” You laughed too. Jack burped again, this time some of the food came back up. Dean moved on instinct, grabbing a cloth on the desk and bringing it over wiping Jack’s mouth.

“I got you little guy.” He said talking to Jack with such affection. Another surprise to you. He cared about Jack. He couldn’t hide that scent from you, not at this proximity. You tried to fight back that feeling inside of you saying he would make a good Dad. Your body wanting him to be the Dad to your pups. You hated it when it played these cruel games with you, hated how your body remembered everything your brain was desperately trying to forget.

You were close now, first time in months. He sat on the bed beside you, his hand behind your back to steady himself. The scent of him pulling you in. God, the weeks after he left it was hard not being able to smell that around you. You ached for it to calm you down, make you feel at home. Now you were back in your room, sitting beside him while he helped you burp a baby. It was surreal.

His eyes softened as they met yours and there he was, the Dean you remembered. Not the angry, pissed off Dean but the one who would rub circles in your skin and tell you everything was going to alright while the world ended around you. The one who scented you when you cried about your heat. The one who’s lips pressed deep into your skin in the back of his car.

“Dean,” you wanted to say so much, not knowing where even to begin. Could he feel the pull too?

“I better let you two get back to sleep.” Dean stood up quick. He was gone before you had a chance to say thanks. Jack started to snooze in your arm. You tucked him back in and drifted off to sleep yourself. The faint scent of Dean was a comfort for both of you.

* * *

Eileen had arranged passage back to the camp by the next afternoon. As much as you protested, she was adamant to get back.

“They need me back there. You are needed here.” She pointed to Jack in Claire’s arms. Jack was smiling as Claire pulled faces.

“But I need you here.”

“No, you don’t, you want me here, but you don’t need me here,” Eileen told you. You still brought her in for a hug. The scent of Sam off of her made you smile. Clearly someone had been busy last night, or this morning, or both. He was bringing her to the state border, then she would be picked up by a resistance group on a mission out there to bring her back to camp.

“Don’t come back,” she whispered. “That’s an order alpha.” she let you go. You couldn’t respond. Her back already turned to you walking towards Sam knowing she wasn’t going to hear you. She did that on purpose. Claire made Jack wave his little hand at her. Some of the others came to wish her off then dispersed.

You were back at the bunker with no sight of leaving any time soon now that you had Jack.

* * *

You didn’t really have time to think about it. Jack took a lot of it. He needed attention, constant minding, between the feeding, the changing, the entertaining, the scenting and repeat you were kept busy. The idea that you had stayed never really crossed your mind till Jack managed to tire himself out after his evening feed one day and drifted off in your arms in the library. You were glad for the leather arm chair, the arm rest helped you hold his head.

Cas came in with a hot drink in his hand.

“Angels don’t drink.” You noted.

“It’s for you. Coffee with sugar.” Only one person knew how you liked your coffee down here.

“Dean?”

“Yes. He thought you might be tired.” Keeping an eye on you from a distance. You weren’t going to push it. It was a nice gesture. The coffee was a peace offering. The baby could stay. You hadn’t seen properly since that first night with Jack. When those feelings came flooding back into you like dam had been broken.

“You mind holding him while I drink it?” you got out of the chair to let Cas sit. He was happy to do it, placing his arms out for you to drop Jack into them. The pup shifted in closer to Cas, brushing his face against the white shirt.

“He’s scenting you.” you told Cas as you sipped your coffee. You forgot how good the coffee was here. The camp didn’t have much in the way of coffee unless you bartered for it which you weren’t keen on doing, mainly because you didn’t have much to barter with. Apart from your weapons which you were never giving up.

“I don’t understand. I am not human.”

“I don’t think he cares.” The angel looked in adoration at Jack. It could have perhaps been the first human to ever accept Cas as who he was. Sure, once everyone got to know Cas, once he earned their trust, he was accepted but he had to work for it. He had to prove himself to each human he came across. The instant judgement of being an angel followed him around. You were liable to that too, nearly wanting to kill him the first chance you got. Jack though, he didn’t care. He liked Cas.

“I’m glad you have chosen to stay Y/N.” Cas said. Yes, staying. You were staying, or at least you were staying for the time being. Jack needed you. He wasn’t safe out there where the Saviours were trying to hunt him down. The bunker was a safe haven for both of you and it seemed that you were Jack’s safe haven too. The idea that you chose it seemed a stretch. It was a necessity. A necessity that came with perks, like being around everyone again and not feeling you were missing a limb anymore. Even if it had only been a few days when you arrived back with Jack in your arms. Cas didn’t need to know those things though.

“I missed you too Cas.” You replied with. Cas smiled. It was genuine, angels weren’t in the business of telling lies. It warmed you as much as the coffee did. Jack was content, that was all that mattered. You owed him at least that.

* * *

During the night you woke up not because Jack was crying but because it was too quiet, flicking on your side light you noticed that he wasn’t in his makeshift crib. He was gone. A surge of adrenaline rushed through you to find him, protect him, kill anyone who thought they could take him away from you. _Mine _vibrating through your very being. You shot out of bed in search for him. The hall was in a slumber, no noises to make you think anyone was awake. How did someone get through the warding? How did someone find the place?

Jack’s gurgling carried through the hall. He was in the kitchen. The door was opened as you ran in to see Dean holding him on his lap. An empty bottle on the table beside him.

“What are you doing?” the adrenaline still simmering under you. Dean could tell you were pent up. He chose to ignore it bouncing Jack in his lap. The pup was fine, content, relaxed even.

“It that a serious question because I think it’s kind of obvious what I’m doing,” He didn’t look at you while he spoke. His face focused on Jack as the baby reached for Dean’s face playfully. You hadn’t even done the hand thing to Jack, show Jack that Dean could be trusted. It was like Cas. He just _knew. _You racked that up to Cas being an angel though, your reasoning for why Jack would innately trust Dean you weren’t sure other than the TM word you refused to say aloud.

“I passed your room, heard the little guy blabbering away so went in. You were unconscious figured you needed the sleep, so I fed him,” Dean brought Jack over to you. The pup snuggled into your chest like he always did. He smelled like Dean and you now, like seeing him holding a pup you’re being a surrogate Mother for wasn’t painful enough. Now you both had scented Jack. “You’re welcome by the way.”

“You didn’t want Jack in the bunker and now you’re looking after him? Willingly?” Dean kept his hand on Jack’s back giving him soft rubs. He just shrugged. God he was annoying when he wanted to be. “Dean.”

“It’s not a big deal Y/N.” And there they were, those words. It’s not a big deal. Jack hid in your neck probably sensing you weren’t ok. You stepped back from Dean not wanting to him near your… near Jack. The adrenaline in you could be put to some good use because Dean telling you things weren’t a big deal set off every trigger inside of you. Months of pain and anger while your body got used to the fact that he didn’t want you. That you were rejected, having to sit with that feeling all because he decided it wasn’t a big deal.

“I’m going to say this just once Dean Winchester and hopefully you will get it through that thick alpha brain of yours, just because shit isn’t a big deal to you does not mean it isn’t a big deal to me,” Dean’s jaw tightened. You were squaring up to him. This was it. You were done being a complicit alpha to him. Jack gripped tighter onto your pyjama top. “Jack _is a big deal_ to me, finding out you’re my true mate was a big deal to me,” you could feel your eyes glass over when you said the words. The tension between you two was palpable. Jack hated it, becoming restless. You spoke quietly but full of alpha bite. This needed to be clear, but you didn’t want to upset Jack more than he already was. “I am not some beta or omega you can make decisions for. I am an alpha just like you. I have done nothing except stayed in my lane ever since I met you, keep the peace, not challenge even when every fiber in my being wanted to but when it comes to Jack, I will not be tested. You fucking got that?”

Dean inhaled sharply. You saw his fists gripped so hard he white knuckled himself. There you were, in his bunker, with his people sleeping, challenging him. You had reached your limit. You had had enough of him and his unwavering ego, thinking he could just do anything because he was the alpha. This was more than just you two. This was about Jack. Eventually Dean nodded his head. It wasn’t a submission. It was an acknowledgement. You’d take it.

“Good.” And with that you turned to go back to bed with Jack. A loud crash echoed through the hallway from the kitchen. Jack cried. You kept it in till you got to your room. When you were safe, away from him you could let out what you were feeling. The tears streamed down your face as you rocked Jack in your arms.

You wanted to hate him. You begged yourself to hate him, that it would be easier to just hate him, but you couldn’t. As much as you willed it, the reality was the only thing managing to calm you down was Dean’s scent wrapped up around Jack.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was getting harder to keep your instincts in check especially when Dean comes back injured from a supply run.

* * *

Dean kept his word which resulted in something shifting between you two. The others could feel it too. Charlie asking you in hushed tones what happened. You didn’t want to talk about it. Sam knew of course, refusing to give up following Dean around till he gave in. It spread after that. You had challenged him, and he didn’t fight it. Equally he didn’t submit. This left you with more power and him with less. It was difficult to navigate but you were trying. You had to try for Jack’s sake.

Jack needed you and as much to your annoyance (your mind’s annoyance) he needed Dean too. The pup would reach for Dean if he was close by, cry till you put him in the other alpha’s arms sometimes and their night time feeds together were becoming a routine. You weren’t too opposed to those seeing as it meant you got a decent night’s sleep. Dean didn’t sleep much. You didn’t ask. You two didn’t talk about anything really that wasn’t Jack related. There was still that tension there, those areas you both refused to talk about and then when you saw Dean holding Jack your body felt such affection it was almost vomit inducing. So yeah, you were still trying to figure it all out.

Some of them had gone out to meet up with that travelling hoarder Bobby knew in hopes of getting their hands on more baby things. Formula being the main thing. Jack needed it above anything else. The last of it being used on his morning bottle. Your body wasn’t about to start producing milk as much as Jack wanted it to. His slobbering on your chest by the afternoon had you anxious for the return of them.

“He’s hungry.” You noted. He was lying between the pillows on the war table sucking on his soother like his life depended on it. Your body was becoming more attuned to his. Jody said that might happen. Jack creating this false motherhood hormones in you. The more attached he was to you, the more attuned your body became to his needs, the change of his scent you recognised as hunger, pain, affection.

“Bobby said the traveler owed him a pretty big favour,” Charlie put a cup of coffee in front of you. She ran a hand over Jack’s belly. Everyone was scenting him now, like out of habit more than anything. The pup needed to know who his family was. “i.e. lots of stuff for Jack.”

“Can we trust this traveler? I mean he’ll know we have Jack.” Claire said.

“They’re not meeting anywhere near the bunker. They should be safe.” You assured her. Jack reached his hand out to you. You gave him your thumb to play with. A toy would be nice for him, something to give him company. You wanted to give him so many things. Constraints by the end of the world made that difficult. The bare essentials, he needed formula, a few more cloth diapers might be handy too and everything else was secondary. Sheltered, fed, clean and loved was what you were going with.

Charlie and Claire were fidgety. It was just the three of you in the bunker. Bobby had to go because he was the contact, Jody to make sure they got the right stuff, then the three others for back up in case things went south. The Saviours were out there and would do anything to get their hands-on Jack. They weren’t taking any chances.

“Grab the deck of cards Charlie, let’s get our minds off of this.” You said trying to create a distraction for them, for you. Anything to get the time to move quicker. It would be hours before the others were back.

Jack was crying when they came back. It had taken them longer than you thought. He hadn’t been fed in hours. When the door opened you were rocking him in your arms as he sobbed on your shoulder. You were tense, too tense to even keep your instincts in check. They clocked immediately something was wrong with Dean.

“Dean!” you called out. Sam came down the stairs first with a bag in his bloody hand. He was breathless and pent up making a bee line for you.

“What happened? Are you ok?” you saw the others come down the stairs, each holding a bag, each as breathless. Cas holding up Dean as he limped down the stairs, his mouth busted, a bruise on his cheek. You waited for Dean to make some sort of signal he was ok. That urge to run up to him, make sure he was ok was strong. He gave you a weak nod, that was enough.

“We ran into Saviours.” Sam dropped the bag onto the table.

“Did they follow you? Do they know we have Jack?” you had too many questions surging through you, not sure which ones were even coming out in the right order or if in any order. Jack’s cries echoing in the room. Sam opened the bag, formula. You wanted to cry seeing it. They got it and by the looks of it risked their lives to get it.

“Let’s feed Jack first, then we can talk.” Sam put his clean hand out to take Jack from you. As you passed the baby over to him you hugged him. A thank you, a I don’t know how to put into words what this means to me, you hoped the gesture was enough. The urge to scent him was there but you didn’t, keeping your head still on his chest because Sam is damn tall and besides Sam had Dean. Jack had quietened down a bit now in Sam’s arms. Grabbing the bag, the two of you headed to the kitchen to feed your…the pup.

* * *

The Saviours were interrogating anyone they could get their hands on. Sam counted easily ten if not more. They were well trained, well geared up and not messing around. It seemed the other Saviours you were used to dealing with were lower down in the chain of command. They managed to get away because of the traveler. He created a distraction big enough to draw the attention away from them to get away.

“And the traveler, he…” you looked to Sam. He was feeding Jack. The pup helped ground him, like Jack did for you too. It sounded like he needed it after the ordeal they had to go through to get the stuff.

“Sacrificed himself.” Sam replied solemnly.

“Fuck.” You ran a hand over your face. A person you didn’t even know putting his life on the line for Jack. Not even a person, a traveler. Someone who does not take sides, who plays the odds to survive _chose _to die in order to keep Jack safe, that little chubby bundle in his white baby grow staring up at Sam with such affection. People putting themselves in harm’s way for him. It was a lot to take in. That reminded you.

“I’m going to check on Dean. When Jack’s finished, bring him to Dean, his magical baby powers might be needed.” You poured a double shot of bourbon to take with you.

“Magical baby powers?” he scoffed. You shrugged.

“I don’t know, that’s what Charlie calls them.”

Sam nodded turning his attention back to Jack. You went in search of Dean.

* * *

Cas and Jody were in Dean’s room helping him prop himself up on the bed. He winced in pain as Jody carefully tried to roll up his jeans and slip off his sock. It looked like something sliced the back of his leg just above his heel. It was deep enough. They must have done a patch up job in the car as the bandages were already soaked.

“Son of a bitch that hurts.” He cursed. You handed him the bourbon, he downed it one go grunting in pain again as Jody turned his foot to get a better look at it.

“Well that’s what you get when you try to take on two military grade Saviours by yourself,” Jody said. “That’s going to need some anti-septic and new bandages.”

“Can you heal him Cas?” you asked. The angel was hesitant. “Cas?”

“He lost his mojo.” Dean told you. Jody left the room in search of some medical supplies. An angel without the ability to heal, being away from heaven really did come with a price. Cas look defeated, disappointed that he couldn’t heal his best friend, his brother.

“I will make myself useful by helping Jody.” Cas mumbled. Before he left you gripped his shoulder wanting to reassure him. You could do that now with the power share between you and Dean. You had a role not just to Jack but to them all. A shared alpha position.

“You are useful Cas.” Even if the angel couldn’t feel you trying to ease him, you hoped the thought would count.

“Thank you, Y/N.” the smallest of smiles came onto the angel’s face. He left.

Dean had his eyes closed, breathing heavily trying to manage the pain. A torn tendon wasn’t about to go away that easily. The waves of agony were hard to mis-interpret. The idea of betas looking after him was probably infuriating to him too. You sat on the bed going with your gut to try and soothe him. He didn’t object when you placed your hand on his forearm.

You thought about the military style Saviours. Wondered what they looked like, what their training was, if they had that cult mind you were used to seeing. Saviours took your sister, now here they were again trying to take Jack. The end of the world would be easier without them. Monsters, demons they knew they were bad guys, Saviours actually thought they were doing the right thing. Bastards.

“Tell me you killed them.”

“Every last one of them.” He replied remembering your words from months ago. Did he remember it all like you? The moments before you knew about what you were...those thoughts weren’t useful. He killed the Saviours. Good. You wished you were there to see it. Dean taking them out one by one, even with a busted leg he could take them down.

A silence fell between you too.

“How’s the pup?” he asked eyes looking tired. He didn’t have to be strong around you.

“Fed, thanks to you,” your thumb ran up and down the underside of his arm, where his skin was softer. “Sam will bring him in once he’s finished, figured you’d need to…I don’t know, maybe…” _scent him. _It was odd, you had no problem saying it to the others. Do you want to scent him? Such a simple question. A scenting created a bond, part of that connection a pup needed to feel loved. Families did it, friends even did it too if you were close enough. The idea of Dean doing it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t that Dean was doing it because he wanted to show the pup he cared, Dean needed to do it, like you. A primal thing to show that he belonged to you which meant in Dean’s mind Jack belonged to him too.

“I do.” There were a few seconds of silence. You caught Dean looking down at your hand, where it was rubbing his skin. He followed your movements with his eyes, matching his breath to it to calm him down. The pain was still there, just less intense. Alphas had to suffer with their pain, usually anyway unless mated. A mated alpha could be calmed by their beta or omega, other than that it was hard. You were meant to be strong, to take it. You racked being able to do this to one another alpha as a true mates’ thing, even if you weren’t mated. That connection was still under the surface, undeniably.

There wasn’t much you knew about it still. Sam and Charlie probably the people to go to for information. True mates, apart from what Charlie had rambled to you in the cabin. _Destined to be together. _Did Dean know about it? Questions that needed to be answered. Answers you were scared of. If you knew more would it make it harder to resist? Is it easier not to know what these feelings were actually trying to tell you? You tried for months to forget all about, now it was staring at you, literally. Those stupid soft green eyes with that forever look.

Jody, Cas, Sam and Jack all landed in together. You slipped your hand back to yours as Dean stiffened himself up. Jody had the first aid kit. Cas had more bourbon and Sam held Jack. Dean’s hand went out for Jack first. His eyes brightening seeing the baby content full of food and sleepy eyed from being milk drunk. Sam placed Jack on his chest.

“Hey there little man.” Dean whispered. He kissed his head as Jack nuzzled into his neck to drift off for a snooze. Your chest ached a little seeing it. Even in pain he was so good to Jack, even after you challenged him it didn’t stop him from caring. It was getting hard to watch so you left them to it. Clothes had to be washed, bottles to be cleaned, things that needed your attention. With Dean down you had to be there for the others too.

* * *

Claire was sifting through the bags in the war room. The items were laid out on the table. Bobby was taking a back seat observing with a mug in his hand. You gripped his shoulder, a thank you for the trip. Bobby nodded understanding.

“Bibs, tell me there are bibs.” You said coming over to her. She lifted up a stack of them, at least five.

“What was some old traveler doing with this much baby stuff?” Claire rummaged through the last bag finding some colorful baby grows.

“Bartering. Travelers currency is their intel or their stuff.” Bobby said. You spotted some more formula, few packets of disposable nappies, muslin cloths and baby food for when he got older. There were also blankets. The baby grows were the luxury item. You were particularly fond of the navy one with stars scattered across it.

“How’s Dean?” Claire asked. She was worried about him.

“It looks like his tendon was severed. Jody is patching it up.”

“He’ll be bunker bound for a while I’d say.” Bobby noted. “Idjit nearly got himself killed, running back into the traveler’s den like that on his own, we only just got out by the skin of our teeth.” The older alpha gulped down his drink, something told you there wasn’t just coffee in there.

“What he do that for?”

“Hell, if I know, one minute he’s beside me throwing the bags into the truck, next he’s muttering he forgot something and gone, like I said, bloody idjit.”

That sounded like Dean, actions first, consequences later.

“How about we get a start on dinner?” you nudged Claire with your elbow. She needed a distraction. The tough exterior she carried around meant she didn’t want to show how much she needed to go see Dean. No one was buying it, but no one wanted to break it for her. Claire needed that tough skin. It was part of her arsenal for the end of the world.

“You can cook?” she questioned. “You never cooked a meal when you lived here.”

“Today is your lucky day then. Front row seat to my extension cooking skills,” You joked. She rolled her eyes unimpressed. “Don’t make me make you.” was quickly added. You could do that. You could have always done it but now you were allowed to.

“Fine, better than sitting here with old n' dusty.” She thumbed over to Bobby slouching in his chair. You laughed.

“Hey!” Bobby shouted. You wrapped your arm around Claire to whisk her to the kitchen before Bobby tore her a new one.

* * *

You made an attempt at a curry. Attempt being the main word. You spiced tinned tomato soup with what you hoped was cumin, put in what you hoped was leftover deer meat in the fridge and boiled up some rice. It was something. It was edible. Claire didn’t hate it, so you took that as a win. She was the pickiest eater.

Charlie took hers to the library where she was reading up on baby souls, what they could do in case monsters other than angels were also hunting for Jack. She liked to be prepared. Jody ate hers with Bobby in the war room. Claire was done being social, returning to her room. She had taken the record player as her own, enjoyed listening to the music. This left you and Sam in the kitchen.

Opportunity arose to ask about the true mate thing. If you were brave enough to ask.

“You wanna talk about it?” You were picking at your food, which never happened so Sam knew something was up. A sigh came out of you, now was the time, just take the leap. Ask.

“When I was in heat, Jody said that you and Charlie were looking into…” this was awkward. You probably didn’t have to bring up the heat. The heat didn’t need to be brought into it. Sam was listening though. “…into how it happened?”

“You mean…”

“Yeah, that.” you didn’t want him to say it.

“Charlie and I found some stuff on it. It wasn’t much to go on initially but then once we eventually got Dean to explain his side of things, it made sense.” Sam said.

“Do you still have the stuff? The information I mean.”

“Yeah, we’ve been able to find out more stuff about _it_,” he was careful not to use the word, picking up on you not being a fan of it out in the open. It was hard enough having to say it to Dean a few days ago. “I can show you, if you want.” Sam threading around this like walking on egg shells. You nodded.

“Yeah, I…” Jack’s cries interrupted you. He was awake from his nap. Sam took your empty plates knowing you were about to leave. You stood up, about to walk out but not before thanking Sam.

“Thanks Sam.” You looked over your shoulder. Sam smiled at you. That warm smile you first saw when you woke up in the bunker, bandaged and damaged from the vamps. He made sure you were ok, helped you navigate around Dean and integrate into the bunker resistance. Aside from being a good soldier, he was a good person.

* * *

Dean was sitting more upright in the bed. Jack cradled in his arms. His leg wrapped in fresh bandages, not bleeding. Jody had given him a bowl of dinner, uneaten on his bedside table.

“You eat, I’ll take him,” You said lifting Jack from his arms. You lifted him higher to sniff his butt. Yep, nappy change. “Couldn’t manage to change his nappy no?” you asked. Dean had a fork full of food in his mouth already.

“I’m injured.” He said through the food. You rolled your eyes at him. Dean using the excuse to get out of doing the job no one wants to do. You had seen Dean with an almost dislocated shoulder and still manage to take down a werewolf before. You didn’t push it. He did let Jack sleep on him for the guts of an hour if not more to give you a break.

Dean had a small supply of baby things in his room for when he took Jack in the night. The clean diaper and pre-soaked cloth you had torn up to use as makeshift wet wipes were on his desk. You changed Jack while Dean ate.

His khaki jacket was hanging over the back of the chair. You noticed something stuffed into one of the pockets. It was pale pink, so it stood out. Dean caught you looking.

“Found that in the traveler’s den,” He said. You reached in to pull out the little pink bunny teddy. Its floppy ears as long as the bunny was. It was soft, fuzzy and just about as big as your hand. “Almost forgot it, had to go back in.”

“This is what you almost died for?” you asked. He went back inside a building that had Saviours in it, military grade Saviours on his own just so he could get Jack a _teddy_. You wanted Jack to have a teddy, but Dean didn’t know that.

“Figured the pup needed a teddy,” Dean shrugged, like it was no big deal. You brought Jack back over to the bed with you, let him sit up in your arms so he could look around. Happier now with a clean diaper. You put the teddy in front of Jack to look at. He reached for it, already fascinated by its big floppy pink ears. “I thought you could scent it, you know, so he always has it with him.” Dean scratched the back of his neck. Insecure? _Dean? _A rare sight.

“You thought that?” it came off as shock in your tone.

“Don’t act so surprised. Is it so hard to believe I give a crap about him?”

“No, it’s not that, it’s just…” this is a bit more than giving a crap. This was Dean thinking of ways to help you out, ways in which Jack didn’t need to always be around you so you could have a break. The breaks that Dean gave you, the others pitched in too of course but Dean was there in the night time, there to bring you coffee or get someone else to give it to you. It also meant that he didn’t want Jack to be unsettled, knowing your scent calmed him. Dean had these thoughts all on his own, thought about them to the extent he went back into a dangerous space to get it.

Dean thought your silence meant you were frustrated, sure you probably smelled frustrated, but the reason why was because you couldn’t understand _why_.

“It’s just what then? I’m playing by your rules Y/N. I didn’t think getting the pup a teddy was crossing a line. I just thought it was…I don’t know, he needed it,” he was trying not to give out. He really was. You could feel him keeping that anger under wraps in front of Jack. This line you put down that when it came to Jack you were in charge. Somehow in your confusion and silence Dean is thinking he stepped over it by getting Jack a teddy because you didn’t ask him to get it. “He won’t starve to death and won’t have to sit in his own crap for too long but c’mon babies need cuddly things. It’s like baby 101.”

Jack reached for Dean. The pup had good instincts. He didn’t care about logic, or status, none of that because he was a baby. He went off of feelings, gut reactions to situations. He listened to his body. Something you tried so hard not to do. Your body as far as you were concerned made you weak around Dean. The distancing yourself, not letting yourself get too comfortable around Dean was for protection. That pain you felt when you got back to the east wing of camp and he was gone still haunted you. Anything that could possibly trigger that kind of pain again you resisted.

Resisting was getting hard to do. Especially when Dean does things like almost gets himself killed to get Jack a teddy or when he slips into your room at night to get Jack so you can sleep for a few more hours. He is doing things that makes you want to crawl into bed with him, severed tendon and all, wrap yourself up in his scent and run your hands through his hair. You weren’t going to do those things. What you could do is ease his anger.

“What I was going to say is you could scent it too.” you suggested. His brow furrowed.

“What?”

“So that he always has your scent with him too.” you kept the bunny at arm’s length from Jack. It needed a wash before you’d let him play with it. Who knows what’s on it? Dean scratched the back of his head again, you tried not to look at him, you wondered if his ears were turning a bit pink. You liked catching him out.

“You’re a pain in my ass, you know that?”

“Right back at you, _sweetheart_.” You looked up at him. He was smirking. The bruise on his cheek had started to darken. When he looked like that you wanted to do other things to him, things that made him curse above you, arch into your touch. There was a knock on the door pulling you away from each other and what hung in the air. It was Jody.

“Everything alright in here?” She had been nominated to go check up on you two. The longest you had been together in months and you weren’t trying to tear each other apart.

“Yeah, just came to grab Jack.” You stood up from the bed, Jack in one arm, the bunny in the other. You’d wash it, hopefully be dried by the afternoon tomorrow then you could come back. You’d have your instincts under control by then. Hopefully.

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You find out more about true mates and take a dangerous trip above ground.

* * *

After Jack’s morning feed you let him sleep on you in the arm chair in the library. It was still quiet in the bunker. The moments between 6 and 8am you usually had to yourself and Jack. It gave you a chance to look at Jack, snoozing on you. You put him in that navy baby grow with the stars. It had been two weeks since you had seen the sky. You wondered if Jack had ever seen the stars, or did his Mom keep him inside all the time, hidden from the world. The lack of light pollution out here must make the sky beautiful. “I’ll show you the stars one day.” You whispered to him. The back of your hand caressed the side of his cheek. He nuzzled closer into you.

Footsteps came into the library. Sam, up, showered and dressed, with a cup in his hands.

“You want one?” he asked lifting the mug. You shook your head, drinking coffee meant letting go of Jack which you didn’t want to do. Not yet.

With the rest of the bunker still sleeping it gave you the chance to learn about true mates.

“Can you show me the stuff?”

“The…?”

“True mate stuff.” You filled in for him. Jack stirred again. You didn’t want him to wake up, so you had to be calm. He was a good grounding piece for what you were possibly about to find out.

“Yeah sure,” Sam went to the other side of the library, pulling out a collection of books and papers tied together. “Charlie kept it together, in case we found more stuff on it but then...” he trailed off.

“Then?”

“Dean told us to stop, said there was no point in knowing more about it,” He admitted. Dean told them to stop looking because you stayed. He was angry and hurt, just like you when they left. He put the books on the table near you. Sam pulled his hair away from his face. “So yeah, the first thing we found was this…”

He opened up a marked page in a leather-bound book. He brought the book over to you to look at. It was an illustration of two people naked with the alpha symbol on their chests holding hands with what looked like rope between them, going from one body into the other. The language wasn’t English underneath it.

“Typically, we know that an alpha would mate with a beta or more commonly an omega,”

“Yeah that’s the norm.” you agreed.

“Yeah so alphas holding hands, not so typical. Charlie managed to get a few phrases from this. It mentions about being finding your true match, mind, body and soul. We think the rope has to do with being pulled towards each other, it also mentions that, let me check Charlie should have a cheat sheet to translate Gaelic.” He let the book rest on the armchair while he went in search.

On closer inspection you can see the sun in the background. The image is worn from being old. If this is an illustration of what it’s like is the sun to represent the warmth? That sun kissed warmth you would feel around him when you first arrived at the bunker. The alphas were matched, old depictions of betas or omegas had them weak, frail looking in comparison the alpha. The woman and man equally strong looking standing side by side. You could just make out their mate bites on their necks too, where their neck met their shoulders.

“Yeah, I was right, the ropes representing the pull to each other. Dean agreed with that when we asked him.”

“What did he say?”

“I have that somewhere too,” he fumbled with the pieces of paper that had scrawls and scribbles over them in two sets of hand writing. Charlie and Sam’s, you assumed. “Here, a dull tugging sensation that laxed when you were close to him,” That sounded about right more or less. You two had never spoke about what it was like. It was hard to imagine Dean talking about it. “He didn’t say it that eloquently. That’s what Charlie took from his words.” Sam scoffed. You chuckled.

“I thought as much.”

“Charlie managed to translate an old Celtic story too. If you want to read it.” he handed you a piece of paper with her scribbles on it. Some words were crossed out, the wrong translation. It was rough but you got the idea.

_Two clans in opposition for as long as the sun shone._

_Two young alphas destined to rule._

_On the battle field they met. _

_They called to each other._

_Not a call of death._

_ A call of home._

_Not destined to kill each other. _

_Destined to love each other. _

_Their swords fell to the earth._

_Two clans joined as one._

They called to each other. Check, you had that.

“What else you got?” you peered around him to the books and papers. Sam spun the chair around to grab other bits of information to explain the true mates.

“The revolution in Italy mentioned two alphas that were equal commanders of an army, they were the most respected and intimidated depending on which side you were on. Apparently other alphas even submitted to them. Something about their joined power.” Sam read through the book that mentioned that.

“Joined power?”

“Yeah, it says that the alphas were mated to each other and it made them more. _Plus alpha.” _Sam attempted a French accent. “More alpha basically.”

For some reason this wasn’t as bad as you imagined. Perhaps due to it being secondary information. There was no first-hand account of what it means to be a true mate. The two sources they had were from others observing the true mates.

Sam also showed you more images of what he and Charlie depicted as true mates, carvings in stones and painted onto walls. It all seemed like folklore or make believe from what the authors said. A fairytale that died out, of two alphas destined to be together, their strength and love so fierce it shook the foundations of any other mated pair. There was still something niggling in your brain about how certain they were it was true mates.

“It’s not a lot to go off on, just a bunch of stories.”

“Yeah, well, we found this then which sort of solidified everything,” Sam brought over what looked like an old journal. He opened up a page dated from the 1700s. A doctor’s journal. It was a log of observations, experiments and tests administered to a pair of true mates. You learned about the enlightenment period, the burst of science in the world that led to the experimenting on alpha, beta and omega dynamics. They pushed the participants to their brink, to scientifically find out what made each of them tick.

It seemed this particular doctor had a keen interest in turning the lore into hard evidence.

“We got Dean to mark things that seemed to fit with what he was feeling,” He pointed to the little dots beside sentences on the pages. The tug, dot. The urge to protect, dot. The calming scent, dot. The heat triggering, dot. The rut triggering, dot. The need to claim, dot. The submission, dot. It was all there. The doctor, bastard of a doctor whoever he was managed to get most of the issues you were dealing with down, not only that, but Dean felt those things too. Everything you felt, he did too. It was a small relief to know you weren’t alone in your inability to stay in full control.

“Does it match with what you went through?” he questioned. You nodded.

“I still go through it,” slipped out of your mouth. Sam didn’t press it. “Minus the heat.”

“The only information we could find was already mated true mates. Seeing as you and Dean are not mated Charlie deducted that the heat triggering might have been your bodies way of telling you that this was your mate because Dean went into a rut too at the same time.”

“He did?” that was unusual. A heat and a rut rarely were simultaneous. He also never told you, then again what’s new there. He never told you anything, made the others not to tell you either. Explained why you two were so needy for each other once it subsided. You shoved those encroaching memories back where they belonged. In the _do not open _file of your brain.

You flicked through the pages noticing that eventually the doctor separated the true mates. The last page left little to the imagination.

_In all my years as a man of science I had never seen such a mating as a true mating. Their bond was impenetrable. To test the limits of this bond separation was the only answer._

_ Similar to the tale that they are connected mind, body and soul. It appeared the separation of the true mates resulted in their physical, mental and emotional decline. The separation was detrimental to their bond. The true mates went on a hunger strike to be reunited. The older male died after a month due to starvation, the younger died a week later. Not from starvation but from what only can be deduced as the grief of a mate lost. _

“They let them die?” you asked in a gasp. Sam took the book out of your hands as Jack stirred awake. The pup feeling that gasp in your stomach along with the sudden wave of shock that came along with it. You shifted Jack to rest his head on your shoulder. You thought about those two mates in agony, calling out for one another, locked away in some lab in a basement. It hurt just thinking about it let alone experiencing it. A bond that strong you would starve yourself for a chance to be with them again and then when one died, the other did too.

“I can’t imagine what that pain must have felt like.” Sam said. It seemed Sam was having similar thoughts to you on it. He looked a little distant, lost in a memory.

“What do you think about it all? Mates, true or not.”

Sam let out a big exhale, slouching into the chair to think of his answer, debating how honest was he going to be with you in this moment.

“Honestly?”

“No, lie to me Sam.” You joked. He scoffed. That eased up the tension in his shoulders a bit.

“There was a time when I thought about it, find myself an alpha, have kids, the whole thing back in college,” you could see Sam being a good parent. He’d smother them in love and never let them doubt themselves. The way he interacted with Jack, with Claire and the others showed that. “I left that behind when I became a hunter, then the end of the world came and well, now I just think about surviving, keeping my family alive and being happy with what I got.”

“_Such _a beta response.”

“Hey!” he exclaimed. You laughed.

“So practical, level headed, _rational_.” You teased him. Sam shook his head at you, but he smiled which meant he got the joke. “Seriously though, I envy that in a beta.”

“You’re pretty balanced, for an alpha.” A back handed complimented. He reached over to touch Jack.

“Gee thanks,” you nudged him with your body. Your laughs simmered down eventually. It was easy being with Sam. You didn’t have to think too hard, regulate your emotions or body reactions. He was gorgeous, you weren’t going to deny that and if you weren’t destined to be with his brother or whatever you would have totally mated and had beautiful tall babies with him, but he wasn’t, well he wasn’t Dean. You could feel Jack’s grip on your pajama top. Intuitive as ever.

The information didn’t make what happened hurt any less. Dean felt what you felt. He knew how hard this was on you because he had the exact same reactions. He had these feelings and still didn’t want to mate you. True mates appeared during times of war, they were stronger bonded, and he still didn’t want you.

“I thought by knowing it would help me understand why he didn’t want me to know,” You admitted. Sam looked up at you, stilling his hand on Jack’s foot. “Why he didn’t want me.” saying those words aloud was a mistake. The lump in your throat catching your breath.

“Y/N,” and there it was, rolling off of Sam, sympathy. A beta took pity on you. You stiffened yourself up. You were not about to cry over Dean fucking Winchester in front of his brother of all people.

“I need to shower. Can you take Jack?” you asked changing the conversation. Sam nodded hands reached around Jack’s under arms to take him off of your hands. You could feel Sam’s eyes on you as you walked out of the library. You couldn’t live like this. The constant urge of something more was going to drive you insane down in this bunker. You had to settle for what Dean wanted, had to play by his book when it came to true mates. This call between you two would never be answered.

* * *

Dean was up in a couple of days. You could tell the injury still hurt him a bit. He wasn’t going to let anyone else in on that though, not explicitly. You were getting ready to head out of the bunker to assess the Saviour situation and add extra wardings, with Dean down they needed an alpha. As much has you wanted to stay down there with Jack, you were needed elsewhere.

Bobby benched Dean till he determined he was safe enough to leave the bunker, you seconded that.

Dean glared at you unimpressed with you wielding your joint power around.

“You’re not dying on Jack.” You said flippantly. You handed him the pup, running a hand over Jack’s hair. He needed a bath. A job to do when you got back. Dean put his free hand on your waist, the other holding Jack. You stilled, eyes narrowing on the alpha who was touching you, in front of the others. Something he hadn’t done before since you arrived back. Touches were behind closed doors.

“You’re not dying on him either, ya hear me?” He was worried about you.

“I don’t plan on it, Dean.” It was too tender for you. You had to step back from his hand, regain focus on what you had to do once you got above ground. The others had been watching, coughing themselves back into action. Cas, Sam and Charlie gearing up to go up to the surface.

“Ready?” you asked them. They nodded. “Let’s do this.” You climbed the stairs after them, before you left you looked down into the war room. Dean bouncing Jack in his arms. You had to shake the smile off of your face. Distractions were going to get you killed. Warm fuzzy feelings were going to get you killed.

* * *

Sam drove around the area. You kept an eye out for possible military grade Saviours, but they didn’t seem to be around which was a relief. Spray paint cans were rattling between you and Charlie in the back of the Impala. Charlie had drawn out some other symbols that could be useful to ward off other entities, witches and genes to keep them away too.

“Won’t this just make them thing we are hiding something?” you asked flipping through the pages. Some of these were intricate. You’d let the others handle those ones.

“That’s why we got the red flags in the trunk, bluff them into thinking it was travelers who left them up.” She said. You nodded, wasn’t a bad idea. You had to trust them. They knew what they were doing. Jack kept you too busy to really be involved in this. You were there more as security.

With the Impala pulled in off the road you all hopped out. You took the safety off of your gun being overly cautious, with the sun going down in a few hours it was going to be difficult to see anyone coming and you were going to make damn sure no one died.

“Be quick.” You told Sam and Charlie rummaging in the trunk for the gear they needed. They had it mapped out, the area they wanted to cover around the perimeter of the bunker.

“Yes alpha.” Charlie saluted. You rolled your eyes at her. She threw on her bag pack.

“Cas with Sam, I’m with Charlie, back here in an hour.” You listed off the orders with ease. You went left with Charlie. Sam went right with Cas.

The forest ground crunched under your feet. You scanned the area trying to see if you could smell or see anything out of the ordinary. Charlie was walking behind you, while you were away, she had gotten comfortable holding a gun. She had yet to kill anyone with it though. You hoped she wouldn’t have to find that out today either. When you came up to a wide tree Charlie grabbed the spray can to draw the first symbol. You stayed alert. You never trusted silence.

“Done.” She whispered. You walked on to the next one, then the next and so on. Charlie alternated the symbols, some trees got two symbols, some of them she sprayed into the ground for demon traps and you helped her hide them with the foliage. She put out some scraps of food, a bowl and a red traveler flag, make it seem like a traveler had stopped here. Charlie had it covered. You walked back to the Impala without a hitch.

Sam and Cas were waiting for you. Your noise startled them to turn, Sam’s gun raised and then relaxed when they saw it was just you two. “Any problems?” Sam asked.

“Nope.” Charlie put her bag pack into the opened trunk.

“Alright, onto the next one.” Sam got into the car to drive two miles to the west of the bunker.

The west side was fine, east too, which meant that problems were waiting for you in the north. This was the end of the world, nothing was easy, nothing was problem free.

* * *

Charlie was finishing up her last symbol on the north perimeter when you heard that crunch of forest ground that wasn’t yours of hers. You put your finger up to Charlie to stay quiet. She froze where she was, spray can in her hand. The rush of fear came over her. You put your hand behind her back to take her gun out to give to her. The forest ground crunched again. Whoever they were they were moving slowly. Another noise came from another direction. Two of them, at least two of them moving in your direction.

You moved behind the trunk to see if you could get a protected view of what was coming. Two black suited and booted figures walked their way towards you, full combat gear. Mercenary styled get up. You spotted the rifles on their person. Their Enochian symbols branded into their foreheads. Saviours. Fuck.

You were not getting out of this as resistance. If they knew who you were, they were not going to be nice. They weren’t going to be nice regardless. You might have some shot of surviving this as travelers. You turned back to Charlie.

“Hide your gun.” You whispered.

“You fricken kidding me?” she hissed. You knelt down, burrowed your gun under some leaves and rocks. Charlie reluctantly did the same. Her bag pack was opened, you pulled out the last red flag to hold in your hand. You were not dying. Jack needed you not to die.

“Keep spray painting, act like a traveler.” You told her. She nodded shoving down her fear.

You sat on a fallen tree trunk, taking out your knife from your thigh holster to start shaving off a branch. Act like a traveler. You had ten minutes before you were to be back at the Impala where the others would be waiting. You needed to survive for twenty minutes. Ten for them to get back to Impala, ten for them to come find you, less if they were concerned, even less if a gunshot goes off.

“State your claim,” One of the Saviours called out. It took them two minutes to come to you. You looked up at them encroaching on you and Charlie. She lifted up the red flag to show them. “You have yet to raise your flag, traveler.” Of course, a traveler would raise their flag first, then start the warding for these exact reasons. The possibility of another group thinking you were something you weren’t. Similar to what you were trying to achieve now.

“Need to get a fire started before the night fall,” You replied calmly. The older Saviour tilted his head towards you. His branding was old, almost completely healed. The young one was fresh, new to the cult you presumed by looking at his symbol. It was raw and red, slightly scabbing. Gross. A beta, both of them. That eased your worries somewhat.

They figured you were an alpha, which did the complete opposite. Their guard was up. You saw the other Saviour take the safety off of his rifle. “We don’t pose a threat to you.” You added.

“We’ll be the judge of that,” the Saviour replied. “Up, on your feet, both of you stand over there.” He pointed to another tree further away from your guns. Great. You dropped your knife, Charlie her spray paint and you walked over. They were close behind. The young Saviour pushed Charlie with the end of his rifle making her fall. Your alpha instincts didn’t like that, but you couldn’t do anything. You were unarmed, they were. “Up traveler, lets’ move it.”

Charlie got up and continued to walk over to the other tree.

The Saviours asked you questions. Where you were coming from, where you were going, any affiliations to the resistance, the standard set of questions you were expecting while pointing their rifles at you. You had eight more minutes to waste. You were glad Charlie was a talker. She embellished most of your stories, dragging them out for as long as she could.

“Do you have any intel on the baby?” they eventually asked. A traveler worked on intel. You couldn’t ask surprised, shocked or defensive. You had to play this.

“We might know something about the baby.” You said. Charlie’s eyes widened unsure where you were going with it. The Saviours looked interested. You had to keep them interested you in or else they were going to waste you and continue walking till they found Sam and Cas.

“What of it?”

“I’m not about to give you this information for free.” The Saviour got close to you, real close, lowering his rifle to his side. “It’ll cost you.” you added with a small smile. The Saviour walked behind you, shoving you to the ground with a boot in the back of your knee. You grunted with the pain.

“Leave her alone!” Charlie shouted. The other Saviour pointed his rifle at Charlie like he meant it, aimed at her heart. You shook your head at her, lightly tapping your watch hoping she’d pick up on what you were trying to do. Stall till the others came to find you.

“You tell us what you know, we’ll let you live.” He pulled your hair back, making you bare your neck. A beta taking control of an alpha like this. He was enjoying it. You could use this to your advantage, hopefully. Seven minutes.

“You’ll kill us either way. You’ve killed other travelers for less.”

“Maybe you just need some encouragement.” He whispered in your ear. You winced as he pulled your hair tighter. Charlie couldn’t look at you like this. The Saviour let go and fired off a warning shot beside you. You flinched. No way Sam and Cas didn’t hear that, they’d be over sooner than expected.

“That all you got beta?” you taunted him. You felt the press of the rifle to the back of your head. Your eyes closed shut. This was not supposed to go like this. One more taunt, it would either kill you or save you. You were running out of options. Play big, win big. Actions first consequences later, embrace Dean’s attitude. It worked for him this long. You inhaled deep and let out a low chuckle. 

“Yeah, thought so, without your gun you’re no match for me.” you said with a fake grin on your face. Your heart was beating in your ears so loud. The cold press of the rifle still on your head. You thought about Jack, his amber eyes, his soft hair, his loud burps.

The Saviour lowered his rifle. You opened one of your eyes. He had moved in front of you.

“I’m going to enjoy this.” He said. He pulled up his sleeves, one hand steady on your shoulder gripping it tight. Five minutes.

“Tick tock.” You smiled. The Saviour struck you in the mouth with his fist, knocking you back. The pain surged through your face as you lay down on the ground. You had no time to recover. He knelt down on one knee, grabbing your jumper to hall you back up to him just so he could hit you again. You saw the blood splat on the ground beside you, flecks of blood hitting the leaves.

You just had to survive. You were not dying today. Sam and Cas will be on their way. You just had to hold out. One more strike like that and you were going to be knocked out. Your hands went up to cover your face, fetal position to help the blows. You could make out Charlie’s cries. The Saviour pulled your hands away from your face.

“Tell me what you know!” he shouted at you. You didn’t answer him, another blow. This one was the last one, lights out. Three minutes.

* * *

You came to in the back of Impala. Charlie was holding your head in her lap. It stung like a bitch. Your mouth pulled tight from the split in it. You survived. They came for you.

Her hand was on your neck keeping your head up. She was worried but ok. You were both ok. If you could sigh relief, you would have. It was hard to breathe. You put your hand on her arm that was across your chest, giving it a weak squeeze.

“She’s awake.” She said.

“Try stay awake Y/N.” you heard Sam from the front. He was speeding trying to get you back to the bunker. It wasn’t safe out here anymore. If they killed those Saviours, others would come looking.

“Entertain me then.” You mumbled. Charlie laughed.

“What do you want? A song?” she asked as a joke. You nodded. You would smile but it would split your lip. Charlie started humming Walking on Sunshine. You tapped your hand along to her humming to stay awake.

The Impala came to a grinding halt in the garage. The darkness from outside being replaced by the bright lights. Sam went around to help you out. You could walk. It was your face that was a mess. He didn’t seem to care about that though. You were probably a hazard to running into things till they cleaned you up anyway. The concussion didn’t help either.

“Here, I got you,” He said scooping you up into his arms. You chuckled as a thought entered your mind. “What?”

“Not the first time a Winchester carried me like this into the bunker.” You told him. Sam scoffed.

Charlie and Cas were already down the stairs when Sam brought you through. It was the night, but some were still up waiting for you to come home. Your eyes searched out Jack and Dean. They weren’t there, probably sleeping.

“Y/N, sweetie, are you ok?” Jody asked.

“I’m fine. Sam is being overly cautious,” You tapped his chest to get him to put you down. You wobbled a bit on your feet, finding the edge of the table to steady yourself.

You needed Jack, you needed Dean. You needed to feel them close beside you. The proud alpha in you wouldn’t let that show though in how you wanted to, wanted to go to Dean’s room and press your face against Dean’s neck where it met his shoulder and run your hand over Jack’s hair and let Dean rub circles into your back.

“I need to lie down is all,” You told them. Sam stayed beside you as you stumbled around the table attempting to get to the hall. He was patient, waited till you gave in. “Fine, carry me.” you huffed in defeat. He scooped you back up again and brought you down the hall.

* * *

He passed your bedroom, you didn’t object, assuming he knew where you actually wanted to be or where Dean would want you to be, they did talk after all. Sam pushed open Dean’s room. The side lamp still on. Jack made a low gurgling noise.

“Dammit, I just got him to sleep…” Dean started to object then realised who was opening the door and who Sam was carrying in his arms. He got off the bed as Sam lay you down.

“You, me, outside now.” Dean grunted to his brother. You winced wondering why your back hurt as you turned onto your side, it wasn’t hurting a second ago. Sam and Dean went outside to talk to not disturb Jack any more than you already had.

Jack was lying in his make shift crib on the ground beside the bed. A drawer from a desk. His pink bunny curled up beside him. He was wrapped up in his green blanket, looking content as he drifted off back to sleep. You rested your hand on him.

“I missed you.” You whispered to him. He shifted under your hand. It was idiotic what you did even if it did work. You didn’t want to take that chance again. It wasn’t worth it. The idea of not seeing Jack again was one of the only things that pulled you through that beating. Him and a certain enraged alpha making his way back into the room without his brother.

“Y/N,” he sounded pissed off, like he was about to give you a stern talking to about being reckless.

“Can you give out to me in the morning?” you asked. You turned to look at him. He was standing at the end of the bed, arms crossed over his chest stretching his top. There was anger there, also concern and relief hidden amongst the rage. You tried to reach for your boot to take it off and failed, that shooting pain up your back incapacitating you. Dean let go of his stance to help you out.

He helped you get undressed. You were glad the pain was too consuming to really pay any attention to the fact the last time he had done this you were doing something a bit different. Dean rummaged in his drawers and pulled out a t-shirt. He debated handing you the clean one. You could see him weighing it up in his head by his chest of drawers as you lay there in your underwear. He grabbed the back of his top and stripped, tossing the one he was wearing over to you. The pain wasn’t too bad that you could ignore that and the sentiment. It was hard to know he remembered these things.

You put on his warm tee that he had spent the day in. That sense of comfort and safety washed over you like aspirin. It smelled like the pup too, even the speck of baby puke that wasn’t rubbed off properly was still there. You pulled it up to your face not caring what it looked like. This was where you didn’t have to be strong. The unspoken agreement of being alone with Dean. 

The bed dipped as he got in. You were lying on your side, watching Jack. You felt his hand pull up the back of his top you were wearing. That concern in him to see what they had done to you.

“You really pissed them off.” Dean noted.

“I really did,” You replied looking over your shoulder. Dean’s furrowed brows were inspecting what you could only imagine to be bruises on your lower back where the Saviour kicked in your kidneys. It was hard to gauge who’s hurt you were smelling. Yours or his. You slowly turned over, wincing as you went to face him. The dimmed light made him soft around the edges.

“I know what I did was stupid.”

“Well if that isn’t the understatement of the century.”

“Says the guy who ran into a death trap on his own to get a teddy for our pup.” The words were out before you could take them back. If you could hide your face in the pillow you would have. There was nowhere to hide from that sentence as you lay in Dean’s bed, in his clothes, with him and a baby you two were caring for asleep close by.

Dean looked at you, mouth slightly agape letting the words you said sink into his brain. _Our pup_. The significance of what you said wasn’t lost on you. Two alphas, one pup. It wasn’t supposed to be possible, biologically speaking, evolutionary speaking and yet you didn’t try to correct yourself and he didn’t try to either. It was just left hanging.

He turned off the side light. As you were starting to drift off to sleep you felt him reach out hesitantly, asking silently for something. He wouldn’t do it unless you said yes. Giving in you shifted in closer till your head hit his chest. His breathe hitched. You wrapped your hand around the front of his top as a tether. He carefully put his hand on your back, just above your bruises.

“G’night Dean.”

He responded with small circles lulling you to sleep.

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You deal with the aftermath of your time above ground and the resistance crew get called away for a big mission.

* * *

You woke up to an empty bed and an empty crib. Jack slept throughout the night, or at least as far as you knew. The beating from the Saviour did take it out of you. Bringing yourself out of the bed you went to the kitchen in search of coffee.

Bobby was sitting at the table. Sam pouring himself a cup of coffee.

“Mornin’ idjit.” Bobby said not lifting his head from his book. Sam grabbed another mug to pour you a coffee. You slowly made your way to the table wincing as you went. It took too long to make it to the kitchen for your liking from Dean’s room. Now you and Dean were out of action for the time being.

“It worked didn’t it?” you defended your actions. Bobby glared over the book at you and let out a low grumble. He was glad you didn’t die so that was something. The unimpressed, disappointed Dad vibes he had down to a T though. You could see why Dean and Sam didn’t like to step out of line around him. He was intimating when he wanted to be.

Sam handed you the coffee. The heat stung your lip. You had yet to get a look at yourself.

“How bad do I look?”

“Like you got the shit kicked out of you.” Bobby grunted. He wasn’t letting it go. He needed to have it out with you. Bobby closed his book in a deafening slam. “What you were you thinking letting a Saviour do that to you? You could have gotten yourself killed! Did you lose your damn mind out there?”

“Bobby,” Sam tried to reason with him.

“We already have one alpha running around like he has a target on his back, we don’t need another one. You’re a smart kid Y/N. You have Jack to think about.” you wanted to challenge him. You wanted to tell him to shut up about Jack. That he wasn’t there and didn’t see how much those Saviours put the fear of God in you, wherever the hell God was. That every time the Saviours fist collided with your face you thought that maybe you weren’t going to make it back to Jack.

“I think she gets it Bobby.” Sam interjected. Bobby sighed, fixing his baseball cap on his head.

“You’re not the only alpha who’s ever had to put their instincts aside to raise kids that were dropped on their doorstep,” Bobby casted his eyes over to Sam. “But you do it because they need you to stay alive. You hear me Y/N?”

“Loud and clear.” You added. It wasn’t like you needed to hear all the things you already thought. That this line between being an alpha and a mother was a hard one to navigate around. That Jack needed you and you couldn’t go putting yourself in situations where you could get killed anymore. That your call to make the Saviours beat on you might not have been the best you in hindsight even if it did work.

You couldn’t sit with Bobby after that. Your eyes glassing over with his words cutting you deeper than you expected. It was hard to hear you fucked up. That you let Jack down, again. That guilt burrowing its way inside of you.

* * *

Dean came to find you after your shower ready to give you a piece of his mind you assumed. You were back in your room toweling off your hair. Jack was lying on your bed content with the bunny beside him.

“You’re too late, Bobby already beat you to it.” You told him.

“I heard.” He leaned against the desk folding his arms and legs.

“Sam?”

Dean nodded. “Look, Bobby was talking out of his ass. He wasn’t exactly a saint of a Father 24/7.”

You looked over at Jack. His gurgling having conversations with the bunny, his new best friend. The rational side of you knew you were doing your best but when you’re in pain, feeling like shit and defeated the rational side is quiet. It’s the other side that comes out. The one that likes you remind you that you’re not really his Mother, that she died trying to protect him.

“If Eileen and I hadn’t of stayed here that night, if we just kept going…” you started to say.

“Don’t do that to yourself Y/N.”

Too late, you were already there.

“We can play happy families all we want to but I’m not his Mom Dean, you’re not his Dad. His actual parents are decomposing in an abandoned house ten hours from here because I couldn’t keep my eyes open long enough to...”

“Enough!” He ordered. You hid your head into your damp towel obeying. Dean’s hands took the towel from your face, he was kneeling in front of you. His green eyes annoyed with you for saying things like that even if they were true. You looked past him not wanting to hold his gaze. He had ordered you to stop, it didn’t mean you had to submit completely.

He knew you were right. As much as he didn’t want to admit it out loud. Jack was yours now, but he wasn’t yours to begin with. It wasn’t like you and Dean conceived him during your heat and here he was 9 months later. That you were this content mated alpha/beta family living it up in suburbia trying to decide what colour to paint Jack’s nursery. Where you’d fight over what to watch in the evening and who’s turn was it to take the trash out anyway? After getting Jack to sleep in an actual crib you’d crawl in beside Dean and try not to make too much noise fucking and fail miserably at it.

No, you were an alpha, a soldier, part of the resistance as the world crumbled around you. You saved this baby from the arms of someone who wanted to take his soul for an angel. You lived in a bunker off the grid where you attempted to raise the pup with another alpha. The alpha who, by the way, just so happened to be your true mate, not that you two were actually going to do anything about that minor detail as much as it pained both of you. Your bodies reacted like the pup was yours, but it wasn’t. His parents were dead and the way you two were behaving you wouldn’t be far off joining them because you were too alpha to know any better sometimes.

You were trying to raise a baby with kicked in kidneys and your support system couldn’t run 10 feet without falling over in agony.

You didn’t realise you were crying till Dean wiped the wetness off of your cheek with his thumb. The salted taste of your tears made its way onto your lips.

“Y/N.” he said so full of concern it pained you even more.

“What the fuck are we even doing Dean?” the words stumbled out. “Can we even do this?”

Dean couldn’t stay on his hunches any longer, the strain in his tendon was starting to hurt. He sat down on the ground and grabbed your wrist as he went taking you with him. You fell into his lap ungracefully. There wasn’t much space between your bed and the desk. You two didn’t seem to care. Your hands gripped onto his shirt as you tried to calm your breathing down.

“The way I see it, we don’t got much a choice,” He admitted. He pulled your hair back from your face. You sniffled, wiping your nose on your own jumper instead of his shirt. “The pup needs us.”

He was right. Jack needed you, both of you alive and strong enough to look after him. He didn’t need you two out hunting down Saviours and kicking ass. He needed you alive, to be there to raise him as best as you could give the circumstances.

“Yeah, you’re right.” You stiffened yourself up. You let go of Dean’s shirt to give yourself some distance from him. As much as it was comforting to be this close, it was difficult not to want more, not to do more than what he was willing to give you. You gave him a weak smile, he returned it.

“Jack needs a feed.” You said getting yourself out of Dean’s lap. As you wiped your eyes with your other not snotty sleeve Dean got himself up too pulling his shirt down. Jack nuzzled into your neck when he was in your arms, slobbering a little.

“Good, I was about done with this pity party.” Dean joked. You glared at him. The alpha veils were being put back up between you two as you had to face the world outside the confines of your rooms.

“Fuck you Winchester.” You tried to say seriously but it came out all wrong. Your voice cracked from crying and then trying to sound serious. Dean scoffed a laugh. His eyes crinkling bringing a genuine smile to his face. You walked out of the room defiantly. He was not going to get one over you.

“You offering sweetheart?” he called out. You couldn’t help to smile at that. It lightened the mood. He was good at that, comfort, soothing, distraction, whatever you needed to pull yourself back to the present. He always managed to do it. These little games you played were part of that. The tip-toeing around the constant pull to do something more in his bed than just sleep. The fight for dominance in the safest way you knew how, through catching each other out.

You turned around to see him leaning against the wall back to his usual cocky borderline arrogant alpha self with that stupid smirk on his face that made you want to do terrible things to him that you shouldn’t be thinking while holding a baby.

All you gave was a shrug. You managed to catch the pink rising up his neck and took that as a win.

* * *

You healed up in a few weeks, the bruises subsided to that gross yellow colour and you didn’t need to pee every ten seconds. Your mouth and face healed quicker than that, quicker than you usually would heal. Charlie said in passing it might be another true mate thing, the fast healing that had been undocumented. You didn’t agree or disagree, you tried to keep the true mate conversations to a minimum.

Dean and you were in a good place, a real good place and you didn’t want to rock it. You talked, joked, spoke about things other than Jack and it was nice. Co-parenting. Co-parenting with the odd sleeping in Dean’s room when you were too tired to go back to yours and Dean didn’t seem to object. His room was also bigger. The others could see it now, you were less inclined to hide it because you couldn’t. People had a tendency to walk into Dean’s room unannounced, chances were that you were in there too.

No one mentioned it though, no one mentioned anything about it apart from the looks you could see them giving to each other when you and Dean found yourself being too amicable. As long as no one brought it up, you were ok with it. Denial was your new best friend.

The others still went on missions, keeping the warding up around the perimeter of the bunker, hunting anything that got too close for comfort. Resistance members from other factions would call and the bunker would answer. The most recent call required them all to go.

“I can’t believe I get to go!” Claire was jumping around in the armory loading up the bags. You were helping her out, checking she was putting the right ammo with the right weapons. They didn’t know how long they’d be gone for. Another big gathering was called out west. The less you knew the better. The urge to go with them was there, as for Dean and you both knew it wasn’t going to happen. Two alphas staying behind. It was unheard of.

They even had to make up some lie about why Dean wouldn’t be going, that he was out of action. This resistance didn’t know you and you wanted to keep it that way. The less people knew you were with them, the better for Jack. The bunker crew were more than capable of doing it on their own. It didn’t make saying goodbye to them any easier.

“Claire, c’mon let’s go!” Jody shouted. You checked over things one more time and zipped the duffel bags shut.

“Sucks you’re not coming.” Claire told you. It made you smile.

“It does, you’ll just have to be extra badass to make up for it.” You replied. She hugged you tight. Claire’s first big mission and you were going to miss it. It was like graduation day for her. You showed her out to use her shot gun and now you won’t even be there to see her use it for real, when it counted. “And you can tell me all about it when you get back, all the gory details.”

“You got it.” She squeezed once more before letting go. You took the bags to the war room.

The others were getting their contact in with Jack. Charlie currently holding him bouncing him in her arms smiling so wide it looked like it hurt. He was getting stronger, able to hold his head up on his own. He did a roll over the other day and you could have sworn Dean’s eyes glassed over. It made your heart swell.

“Okay, let me have a go.” Jody was next lifting Jack into her arms. You sat down on one of the chairs watching it all unfold. Dean going over everything with Bobby and Sam, micro managing their every move that had been planned and re-planned five times. Claire and Charlie getting their bag packs onto their back. Cas was waiting patiently for his turn with Jack, hovering close to Jody.

She kissed Jack’s head then handed the pup to Cas who’s face lit up when Jack automatically reached for his face. Hands patting along Cas’ cheeks and nose trying to grab at it. It would be tough on Jack without Cas. The angel didn’t carry a scent and yet Jack loved him probably close to the amount he did for you and Dean.

“He’ll miss you.” You said as Cas walked close to you.

“I will miss him too.” The angel let Jack explore his face till Bobby rounded them up to get going. They were burning daylight. You took Jack back. This was it. They were going and you were staying. 

“Don’t die on us.” You called out as they went up the stairs one after the other.

“I want daily updates! Daily Sam you hear me!” Dean also called out.

“Yeah, I heard you the first ten times Dean!” his brother shouted back.

“Don’t kill each other while we’re gone.” Charlie said.

“No promises.” You replied. Dean rolled his eyes at you. You were trying to lighten the mood. Whatever you felt about them going was nothing in comparison to what Dean felt. That was his family going out there. The family he protected, cared for, kept alive on a daily basis. They were leaving and he had to stay behind for Jack. It was hard for him to swallow that. The pup he had known for a couple of months taking precedent over the rest of them, that’s how he saw it no matter how many times you tried to explain that they were going to be fine.

The bunker door shut. You were alone.

“You ok?” your hand reached out, he stepped back before you touched him.

“Don’t.” Dean turned to walk away from you, probably to find a bottle of something. You let him go.

* * *

Dean found you in the kitchen hours later. You were boiling carrots for Jack to eat. Jody suggested seeing as there was no definite way to know how old Jack was, it might be best to start weening him off of the constant formula. He ate pureed carrots instead of one of his bottles now. You were stirring the pot while holding Jack when he came in. The wave of worry hit you like a tsunami.

“Sam not check in yet?”

“Nope.” He lifted Jack from your arms giving you a break from holding him. You didn’t trust leaving him down anywhere in the kitchen, it wasn’t safe enough. He had his make-shift crib in Dean’s room and his pillow fort in the library/war room apart from that Jack needed to be held unless on a bed. Dean brought Jack close to his neck. He ran his nose along Jack’s face trying to calm himself down. It was working, the tsunami more like tidal waves.

“I think Jody made extra rice and beans for us, just needs to be reheated.” You said.

“I can’t even remember what good food tastes like,” Dean sat down at the table, bouncing Jack on his leg. “Bacon, I used to love bacon and pie.” You could hear him salivating from the memories.

You took the carrots off the boil, strained them under cold water and blitzed them in the processor.

“Maple bacon pancakes, my Mom would make them every Sunday.” You found yourself saying. You rarely talked about your past, choosing to avoid it out of fear of seeing weak, pathetic, that the grief that might roll off of you would be misconstrued. That someone would take pity on you. Dean didn’t do pity, wasn’t part of his DNA.

“Same.” It was even rarer to hear Dean talk about his past, especially his parents. You put some of the carrots in a bowl, sterilized a spoon.

“Did she die before or after?” The end of the world didn’t need to be said. It was what people said to differentiate. Before or after, like BC and AD.

“Before,” he replied. You pushed the bowl and spoon over to Dean to feed Jack. He moved Jack, got him to sit up on his lap, one hand wrapped firm under Jack’s arms. The bib a little slobbered on. He gurgled, full of smiles when Dean brought the spoon to him. He liked the carrots. “I was around 4?” He said it like a question to himself, like he can’t quite remember when it was. A lot had happened between now and 4-year-old Dean eating maple bacon pancakes at the dinner table.

“Sam would have been Jack’s age.”

“Yeah, guess you’re right.” He waited for Jack to swallow before putting the next spoon in. A four-year-old Dean looking after his little brother. You pictured him kissing him goodnight, telling him he’s going to look after him, that his big brother Dean won’t let anyone hurt him, promising it over and over even till this day still keeping that promise. Except now he was in the bunker and not with his brother up there on this big mission. He can’t keep him safe from down here.

You crossed over to the other side of the table letting your instinct take over feeling he needed it. Dean didn’t object when you took the back of his neck to press your foreheads together.

“He’s going to be ok Dean.” you whispered squeezing your hand slightly to let him know you meant it. Your touch conveying a sense of certainty. He nodded and leaned back. The worry was almost gone from him by the time he finished feeding Jack.

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

* * *

Sam did check in the next day. They had ran into some trouble on the road, no one was hurt except the bad guys, they met up with another resistance truck heading out west too, so they had more man power to take down whatever came in their way. One more day’s driving and they’d be at the location. Dean was in a better mood for it.

You found him in the war room with Claire’s record player dancing with Jack in his arms. Not so much dancing, but he was bouncing the pup and Jack was laughing, one of his new favourite things to do. You didn’t want to disturb them, choosing to stand in the alcove between the library at the war room watching.

Dean was beaming a smile at Jack, teeth and all, waving the baby’s little hand like he was fist pumping the air. The music was that old jazz stuff, a bit more up tempo. When Dean turned, he saw you.

“Y/N, come on down here, look he’s dancing!” He called out. You hopped down the stairs to join the fun. Jack’s free hand reached for you, slapping your cheek by accident. You pretended to eat his hand as you joined in with Dean’s bouncing. You looked ridiculous, you know you both did but Jack was loving it, laughing so hard you didn’t care. There was no one else here and you took advantage of it.

Jack’s amber eyes were bright and happy moving between you and Dean as you stayed in his view. Dean had brought you in closer, put his free hand around your waist. It felt nice. You couldn’t deny it. The three of you dancing like this. Relaxed atmosphere you rarely got to experience, especially out in the open.

“Jack, you gonna show Y/N our new trick?” Dean asked. You stared at him, curious.

“What new trick?”

“Blow Y/N a kiss.” Dean did it first then Jack mirrored him putting his hand up to his mouth and then directing it at you. It was adorable.

“Jack! That’s amazing,” you kissed his head proud of the pup. “That’s kinda incredible.” You said to Dean slightly in shock. You didn’t even know babies could do that that young, however young Jack was. 

“What can I say he’s a charmer.” Dean was oozing pride for Jack.

“Yeah, just like his…” you caught yourself before you said it. There it was, that slip up, so easy to do especially when your guard was down like it was now. Too easy to get swept away in these moments.

It seemed Dean did too, dropping his head down to kiss you chaste, like it was the most natural thing for him to do. His lips touched yours and if you blinked you would have missed it. Your eyes were open though, slightly widened if anything as they stared at Dean. He kissed you. He knew what he did, that slight panic easing into him, clouding the relaxation, the joy, the serenity you two were having up until then.

“Uh, sorry.” He said.

Dean’s hand that was still on your waist unmoving made you doubt that apology. You really hoped he doubted it.

“Are you?”

He shook his head. 

You reached up wanting another kiss, a kiss that lasted longer than a blink, longer than a breath, a kiss that lasted at least four. It seemed he did too. Dean pulled you in closer with his hand till your front pressed against his side because he was still holding Jack in his other arm. You steadied yourself resting your hand on his shoulder and kissed him again. Kissing him was like riding a bike or firing your handgun, something you couldn’t forget even if you tried.

It was sweet and slow. The angle wasn’t great, holding Jack didn’t help but you made do because _damn_ kissing Dean was all kinds of good especially when he was your destined true mate, your true mate who was holding the baby your body thought was his. You’ve kissed enough people in your life, nothing was like this, a full bodily reaction from your insides out. That warmth washing over you, not in heat like before but just enough to remind you that this is what it would be like. If you sealed it, marked it, mated him you could have this life. You could feel this great every day of the week till your last breath. You two didn’t break till Jack smacked Dean’s face making him jolt.

“Dammit Jack.” He cursed. Dean glared at Jack unimpressed with him. Jack didn’t care, hands going up to Dean’s face again, wanting to rub against his stubble. You could relate. Dean rolled his eyes admitting defeat and let his hand go from our waist. Jack was a good cock block, you needed one before that sweet and slowly became something hotter and heavier.

There was a whole evening left. Jack needed to be fed, bathed and put to sleep, then you might see about how far Dean’s good mood could go. If he’d just take that leap you were so willing to do.

* * *

Jack went down without a hiccup. The bath and the feed knocked him right out. His little chest rose and fell all snuggled into his make-shift crib. You put him in that navy baby grow you loved. The stars scattered over it. His blanket swaddled him to keep him safe. His pink bunny tucked in with him to keep him calm.

The door opened slowly.

“He asleep?” Dean asked. You replied in a nod, hand caressing the top of his head.

This was where you two would get into bed, get some sleep before Jack woke up in the night. It wasn’t talked about, just sort of happened, that denial that it was anything over than convenient, that you were just doing it for Jack or that you accidentally fell asleep while trying to settle Jack. These were the reasons you two had down to a fine art for why you shared a bed.

You weren’t healing anymore. Your wounds were non-existent, and you knew Dean’s heel was better after a prank war between him and his brother nearly knocked you over as he ran down the hall before Sam chased after him seconds later. This wasn’t about comfort, soothing, whatever. Now that you two kissed, getting into this bed just got a whole lot more complicated.

You got undressed separately, you in one of Dean’s tops and Dean in his, jeans and socks forgotten about. It was getting into the bed that was the difficult part. Both of you standing on your respective sides, arms crossed staring at the bed. You had done this countless time before but with that kiss your legs decided not to work. It was a slight comfort you could feel Dean’s nerves too.

“You’d swear we’ve never even done this before.” You said breaking the silence.

“You talking about sharing a bed or having sex?” he asked. Your cheeks flushed. Sex was on his mind too, that was also a small relief it wasn’t just you.

“Both.”

“Maybe if we…” he put his knee on the bed. You did too, following his cue. Both of you now on the bed kneeling in front of each other. “…and maybe,” Dean reached behind him, grabbing the back of his top and pulling it over his head. You let yourself indulge in admiring him topless, something you resisted yourself from doing more times than you could care to count. His resistance tattoo, his lean chest, strong physique that he kept hidden under all those unnecessary layers. Your body remembered the weight of him on you, towering over you, your fingers itched to reach out and touch him.

Dean beat you to it, his hands on the hem of the top you were wearing silently asking to take it off. You raised your hands, the soft cotton brushed over your chest and slipped over your head with ease. Dean’s eyes were on you, you noticed how his throat bobbed, like he was gulping back something. The spike of arousal off of him you also noticed. It made you smirk.

You reached out this time, almost like you two were taking it in turns. You were bold, your hand went around his neck, let your fingers move up into his hair. Dean inhaled sharply. You dug your fingers in harder, remembering he liked it. That earned you the tiniest of gasps from the alpha. His head titled back, exposing his neck to you.

“Submitting already?” you asked as your other hand moved to rub your thumb down his tendon, down to where his neck met his shoulder. Perfect place for a mark you thought. Your body liked that idea, that pull to get closer to him. It was his turn though, if you two were playing this game.

“You wish.” He grabbed your waist, pulled you into him till your waist was flush against his. Your breath hitched on the impact. Dean smirked, loving when he caught you off guard. You two felt the heat surrounding you, like that illustration, the sun was constantly around when you were touching, like the sun keeping you alive, Dean made you feel more alive than anyone else could, than anyone else ever would. His hands started to roam over your skin, no place untouched that his hands could reach. You felt your heart beat pick up, that soft pounding exhilarated with each fingertip he placed on you. Your hands stayed in his hair, anchoring you to him as your knees started to buckle.

“What does it feel like?” you whispered. Dean slipped his fingers under the elastic band of your panties. You closed your eyes, letting that sense dampen to fully revel in the sensation of his calloused hands gripping your ass, tugging you closer to his crotch. You let a soft moan out.

“Feels like – _fuck_ – I don’t know Y/N, I’m crap with words,” he mumbled, voice slightly cracking with desire. You let your forehead drop to his shoulder. Your arms crossed over one another behind his neck slowly losing this battle of staying in control as your hips started to sway forward, wanting to catch his growing erection. “Feels incredible, like my whole freakin' body is awake, like – _shit Y/N_ – like it’s been asleep my whole damn life,” he let go of your ass, hands moved to pull your head back, so he can see your face, green eyes staring at you wrecked and soft and glistening. “Like I’ve been walking around with my eyes closed all this time and when I’m with you, when I can touch you it’s like…”

He didn’t get a chance to finish. Your lips were on his silencing him because you couldn’t cope with what he was saying. Every word matching your every experience and it was too much, so you kissed him, his top lip between yours fitting so perfectly like they were made for you. They kinda were if you thought about but thinking was getting harder to do. Dean held onto your face as he kissed you back, tugging on your bottom lip to open it up for him, to slide his tongue in and taste you like he hadn’t in so long.

And all the hurt, that pain over the last months melted away because you were here, here with Dean in his arms, in his room, back in his life where you belonged, and it felt so fucking right. Everything was slotting into place as you claimed his mouth, pushed him onto the bed and kissed down his chest. You two had to be quiet, careful not to wake up Jack which meant you could hear every breath Dean took, each time it hitched as you found a new spot on his body that he reacted to. You saved them to memory this time, refusing to let them fade away and savoured each moan he let escape because he couldn’t help it.

“Come back here.” He rasped out after you took off his boxers. You fell into his arms, let him wrap you up and turn you over till your back was on the bed. His turn to taste you, mouth hot and luscious on your skin, sucking marks onto your chest as his fingers moved between your leg, finding your sweet spot and daring to press inside. You arched into it, wanting that touch, letting that arousal coat you like a second and third skin there was so much of it in the air it was like you were choking on it and you hadn’t even fucked yet. You had time though, enough time and you were going to make it count. No looming war, no vampires to kill, no betas to look after, just you and him and you were falling, falling hard and you weren’t worried about it because he was right there with you.

The frantic rush of the last time didn’t allow for this, for Dean to learn how you liked it, his fingers inside of you moving alongside your slicked soft walls. His eyes darting between your face and his hand enjoying each separate show. Two fingers in and you were starting to quake. It had been so long since someone touched you like this.

“You like that?”

“Yeah, that’s – _shit_, right there, Dean – don’t stop.” You stuttered out as the words were failing to come out in any coherent order. Your fist was in your mouth trying to bite back the moans and shouts and curses you so desperately wanted to say aloud. He hooked his fingers searching for that spot that shook your thighs as if they had a mind of their own, completely uncontrollable as the waves of pleasure started to build and build and build till all you could do was hold on as you started to cum.

When it came you shot your head back into the pillow, arching into it and away from it as it was too much and not enough and you wanted it to stop before you fully submitted and never wanted it to end because Dean was looking at you with such raw desire that maybe submitting to him wouldn’t be so bad after all. Coming back down to earth Dean kissed you deep, slow, all tongues and no finesse because how were you supposed to function after an orgasm that hit you that hard.

Dean lowered himself back in between your legs, wanting his own release. It was your turn to break him and put him back together again. “Sit up.” You whispered, your breaths short and shallow still trying to catch after the orgasm he pulled out of you. He listened, raising his upper half off the bed and watching you attentively as you straddled his waist to rub yourself on his cock.

“Son of a bitch – that’s good – _fuck_.” He cursed hands gripping your ass to grind on him, meeting at the right spot for him, sliding with ease from your slick. You wanted it now, needed it now and lined yourself up to take it knowing he wanted it too. The feeling of him inside of you as you sat down was everything you remembered and more. Fuller and fuller you felt as you sat down on him, your mouth against his breathing the same air as you both felt this. Your bodies so awake, so alive and hot from sweat and hot from the connection, it was all kinds of consuming.

You rode him slowly, careful not to squeak the old bed but equally enjoying it. His head buried in your neck, hands bruising your ass they were holding that hard and the groans he let slip out were incredible. Dean the alpha Winchester crumbling beneath you and loved it. Loved how you could make him feel this good, this wrecked and how knowing how good he felt just pushed you harder into giving him what he wanted. If you could sink lower you would of except you had nowhere else to go, just grinded on his cock buried inside of you.

“So good Y/N, fuck, you’re incredible,” He said over and over mixed with curses and other praises. You clenched down on him, making him stutter mid-sentence. “Do that again.” he ordered as an alpha. You obeyed, your body giving it to him before you could register it, defenses down, not that you even cared it felt amazing. He came soon after that revelation you two had, clenching your insides hard around his cock you ripped his orgasm out of him that his hips raised you off of the bed a little. You held on, let him ride it out just as you rode out yours out earlier.

When you two came back down to earth, you were a pair of sticky, breathless, smiling idiots. Dean rearranged you so you were lying down on the bed, facing one another with your leg thrown over his hip and he ran his hand up and down your thigh aimlessly as you got your breath back. You hopefully had a few more hours before Jack woke up. You wanted to bask in this afterglow for as long as humanly possible. That content feeling you wanted to cling to and never let go.

* * *

Jack woke you up. Dean sound asleep beside you. You separated as you fell asleep, he was on his stomach, hugging his pillow like he usually did. You grabbed Dean’s old man grey dressing gown to wear to the kitchen with Jack close to you, his soft whimpers getting louder the hungrier he got. Dean made his night time bottle, it just needed heating up in the microwave. You waited with tired eyes, yawns coming in waves till it was ready then you sat down at the table to give it to him.

His amber eyes staring up at you, content and safe and enjoying his warm formula.

“I thought it was my turn to feed him.” Dean wandered into the kitchen rubbing his eyes, hair an array from your playing with it. He went without a top, just padding in in his boxers seeing as it was just the two of you in the bunker. The marks you left him starting to bloom pink, one on his chest. The other near his hip bone.

“It was but you were fast asleep,” You replied. “I got it. You go back to bed.”

Dean didn’t go back, sat on the other side of the table, head on his folded arms.

“Dean, no point both of us being up.”

“Then bring him back to the room.” Dean said in a yawn. You rolled your eyes but agreed. You could technically feed him in the bedroom, just you didn’t in case it woke Dean up, seeing as he was already up no need for you to be in the kitchen. You both walked back to the bedroom, Jack still latched onto his bottle. Dean walked ahead, opening and closing doors. He sat up on the bed, legs spread tapping the center space for you to sit in with Jack.

“What are you at Winchester?”

He made a come-hither gesture with his hand. You maneuvered yourself on the bed, scooted back ungracefully with the pup in your arms till your back met Dean’s chest. Your body appreciated the closeness, the tenderness and softness of it being wrapped in Dean while Jack was wrapped in you feeding, only made better with Dean running the tip of his nose down your neck nuzzling in there all sleepy and affectionate.

“Didn’t peg you for a cuddler.”

“Shut up.” He nipped the side of your neck hard, a little more than a nip, dangerously close to a bite.

“Careful,” you turned your neck. Dean sighed. You heard his head thud the wall behind him. That tenderness now mixed with frustration. “Don’t be like that.”

“Like what?” he snapped. You were grateful Jack was in your arms, helped ground you and not give into your anger too much. Dean was like a light switch sometimes, then again you could be too. You didn’t respond to it, best to wait till Jack finished his bottle. You could put him back down and bring Dean outside to talk or shout, or whatever it was that you two had to do.

* * *

With Jack back down, you took Dean’s hand to lead him outside, down the hall a bit as not to disturb Jack. You let go when it was far enough. You both leaned against opposite walls, create some distance between you two to actually have a conversation. One that was long overdue.

“Right, out with-it Dean.” You demanded. “Cards on the table.”

“Gonna need a little more than ‘out with-it’ here Y/N.” He sassed. Great he was in a sassy mood, just what you needed when trying to have a civilized conversation then again since when did you and Dean ever have a civilized conversation? You tried to keep yourself calm.

“I wanna hear your side of the story, the true mates, all of it,” You needed to pace. “The keeping it a secret from me, telling me it wasn’t a big deal, leaving me behind.”

“Don’t make it out like I’m the only bad guy here Y/N. What about your side huh?” You turned to look at him, unsure what he was talking about. “You were so damn ashamed that I triggered your heat, like it was the worst thing that ever happened since the end of the freakin’ world,” His anger and hurt radiated towards you, mixing with your own. He pointed his finger at you, jaw tight. “And let’s not forget, you’re the one who stayed in that camp, not me. You stayed just like I said you would...”

“I went back for you!” You shouted interrupting him. You couldn’t take it anymore.

“What?” his brows furrowed.

You pressed the heel of your palms into your eyes. The memories came rushing back, running to the camp, envisaging him there leaning against the Impala waiting for you and you got there it was empty. The tire tracks the only thing they left behind. You remember digging your hands into it not sure what else to do. Eileen coming to find you eventually, you cried into her shoulder till your tears dried up. He was gone, he didn’t want you, you didn’t deserve happiness.

The months trying to get over it and failing, the only thing that worked was shoving it down, forget it ever happened, refusing to say his name aloud even when his soft green eyes haunted you in your dreams. Now they were staring at you in person, confused and waiting for you to answer.

You spoke quietly as if saying the words at this volume would help stop the tears from falling.

“I went back to the east wing. I went back and you were gone Dean.” It didn’t help. You blinked as your eyes blurred, the tear dropping to your cheek, the other ran along your nose and dipped into your mouth. You used the sleeve of the dressing gown to wipe them away.

Dean stepped closer to you. “You never said, all this time you’ve been here…”

“I thought you didn’t want me. You wouldn’t even look at me Dean when I came back.”

You leaned back against the wall, eyes on Dean as he stepped into your space.

“I want you Y/N, every minute of every goddamn day I want you,” His hand reached up to your neck. “I’ve tried to fight it, believe me I tried, for months I tried to get over you, but it was like my whole body ached for you, like it hurt,” he explained. You nodded understanding, understanding everything he was saying because you lived it too. “And I’m done trying to fight it.”

You settled your hands on his waist, reeling the words he said over and over. Is this some joke? You opened yourself up to this possibility before. Dean standing in front of you, green eyes open and raw, hands on your neck anchoring you to him, to this moment. There was nothing except honesty, sincerity that you could pick up on from him. He meant it. You had to be sure though. 

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying let’s give this true mate life a go, you, me, Jack, all of it. Whaddya say?”

This wasn’t a dream. This wasn’t a joke. He wanted you. All of you. You nodded.

“Gonna need to hear you say it sweetheart.” The seriousness of his voice replaced by something more playful, joyous because you two were doing this, were going to do this. You smiled at him.

“Yes,” You pulled him in as you went onto your tippy toes, eyes and mouth gravitating towards that joint between his neck and shoulder. You wet your lips, your body getting ready for this, for the bite that he was about wear on show for everyone to see. Dean tilted his head as you pressed your mouth to it first, making sure this was where you wanted it. Your mind, body aligning as one in agreement. You paused before piercing his skin. “But Dean…”

“Yeah, I know, I know,” Dean moved the top of the dressing gown over, exposing your skin. His stubble brushed under your jaw, lips touching your neck a little higher than where yours touched his. You felt his warm breath unmoving. His decision also made. “Don’t call me sweetheart, bite me Y/N.”

You sank your teeth in.

You made it count. You made it last forever.


	7. Epilogue

* * *

The others returned after four days. No one died.

In those four days you and Dean were still trying to get a handle on true mate related things. You dealt with them as the arose, not trying to force anything into fruition in case you overloaded yourselves.

The connection was intense to start with, like having a whole other set of emotions, thoughts and sensations running through you now that you had sealed the bond. It was just going to have to take some getting used to. You felt Dean, mind, body and soul like the lore read. There were things Sam and Charlie’s research omitted that needed to be added. Though you assumed that once the cat was out of the bag Sam was going to want to document everything and anything you two would allow within reason. Dean was not letting his little brother in on his sex life, you didn’t object.

True mate sex was, as Dean put it _freakin’ awesome _and you made use of the free bunker in those four days. To save the rest of the bunker crew from smelling your sex all over the bunker you kept it your rooms and the bathroom and made sure to clean up after unexpectedly fucking on the war room table and the kitchen. You were considerate like that but yeah, sex with Dean was an outer body experience every time and something told you that it wasn’t going to fizzle away anytime soon.

You were in the library. In the armchair you had claimed as you own with Jack in your arms staring up at you with those big amber eyes waiting for Dean to bring you the bottle when the bunker door opened, and Charlie’s voice was the first you could hear.

“We’re back bitches!”

It hadn’t been a week, but you had missed them all none the less. It had been quiet without them around. You got up, moving Jack to rest on your chest to greet the return of the bunker crew. Charlie and Claire coming down first, followed by Jody, Bobby, Sam and finally Cas.

“Y/N! Jack!” Charlie’s smile beamed as she made a bee line for you to give you two a hug.

“Good to see you’re all walking on your own.” You joked. Charlie embraced you, careful of Jack.

It didn’t take long for someone to notice.

“Holy shit, your neck.” Claire gasped pointing at the bite like it was some kind of infection. The rest of them wide-eyed, mouths gaping at it sitting pretty a few inches under your ear. It was still fresh, pink and scarring, eventually it would fade into a normal looking scar. You reached your free hand up to it, index finger running over the teeth mark indents.

Dean walked in just on time, bottle and muslin cloth in his hand. His brother crossed over to him, hands reaching for his neck to see the other mark.

“What are you…” Dean batted Sam’s hands away.

“Lemme see.” Sam fought his brother to get his hands back on him, pushing the collar of his flannel out of the way to see your mark peeking out from under his t-shirt, less obvious than his one on you.

“About time I say.” Jody commented. You could feel Dean’s eye roll from where you were standing.

“Who had Dean wanting to show boat his mark on Y/N?” Charlie asked. You had forgot about the bet. Charlie had Dean down as putting it on your shoulder, a whole bottle of conditioner riding on it.

“Right here.” Bobby put his hand up proud as punch he got it correct. You blushed a little. Dean also embarrassed about how well they knew him.

“Alright, alright, how about ya’ll unpack, settle in then we can do the 21 questions.” Dean suggested though it came out as an order. They fell in line, listening to him begrudgingly. Jody hugged you first though.

“I’m happy for you Y/N.” She whispered then left to unpack.

The angel stayed back, not susceptible to Dean’s orders. He swayed side to side on his feet unsure what to do or say giving the circumstances. Dean took the lead and pulled him in for a hug, knocking the wind from Cas.

“Good to have you back Cas.” He said. The angel hugged him back with as much force.

“It’s good to be back.” Cas replied. Jack shifted in your arms hearing Cas’ voice. He gurgled, slobber dripping down onto his bib. He was hungry.

“Someone missed their uncle Cas eh?” You bounced the baby a little in your arms. You stopped paying too much attention to the slip ups. The whole mating thing seemed to have wiped out any guilt you were feeling before about suggesting Jack was anything other than your family. Cas reached for Jack’s little hand, letting the pup grasp his finger in a hello.

“You wanna feed him?” Dean gestured towards you and Jack. Cas’ face lit up with that, a smile that was bright and soft that he was allowed to do this. It wasn’t that he wasn’t before just the opportunity never presented itself and Cas had always been hesitant, never asking to hold Jack unless one of you picked up on it.

“Yes, I would like that.” Cas moved passed you to sit in the library chair knowing that was a safe spot to feed him. You followed him, placing Jack in his arms. The pup brushed his head against Cas’ trench coat, scenting him instinctually. Dean handed him the bottle, showed him out to do it as you sat up on the library table watching on. The angel listened to the instructions attentively.

Dean leaned back against you, slotting between your legs with his arms and legs crossed watching Cas feed Jack. You rested your head on his shoulder, hands loosely around his stomach enjoying the adorable show.

“See? You’re a natural.” He said. Cas didn’t reply, too focused on Jack and feeding him. Jack had his hands up on the bottle, holding onto Cas gulping the milk back like he hadn’t been fed in his life. That pup could drink the place dry if giving the chance. Your heart swelled seeing him in Cas’ arms, how in sync they were with each other, how much Jack responded to Cas and relaxed around him, like his own personal guardian angel.

“Looks like we have a new babysitter.” Dean noted.

“I don’t know if I am ready to be left alone completely with Jack, but I would like to one day.” Cas replied eyes unwavering from the pup in his arms. You smiled into Dean’s shoulder, unable to deal with the cuteness overload. The fluff and affection were too much to handle especially that you were also feeling what Dean was. It was like double the amount you were used to, filling your soul and warming your insides.

“We’ll show you the ropes Cas,” Dean assured him. “Quicker you learn, quicker Y/N and I can get back to kicking some apocalyptic ass.” 

“Here, here.” You agreed.

“You two sure about that?” Sam’s ever concerned voice came in from behind you. You both turned, seeing the brother showered and changed, bottle of beer in his hand. He cast his eyes between you and Dean, noticing how you two were physically touching in public. Dean made no attempt to step out of your reach and you didn’t either. Sam’s face shifted from surprise to fondness quickly taking a seat on the side you all were occupying.

“Yeah, we’re not built for hiding down here Sam and now with the extra perks of this,” Dean tapped his mark. “Be a shame to waste it changing diapers and making bottles till one of us kicks it.”

“But what Bobby said…”

“This fight aint over and I’m not benching myself for the rest of my life. If I can do some good, that’s what I’m gonna do,” You explained. “Jack is still my…_our _priority that’s never going to change but I’m a soldier, that’s never going to change either.”

“What in the what now?” another voice came in. Jody.

“They’re going back fighting.” Sam snitched.

“Like hell they are.” Bobby’s voice. You sighed, head rolling on Dean’s shoulder as they debated your life choices in front of you, like you were incapable of making decisions, like the magnitude of change inside of you since mating with Dean was something to be snuffed at. Little did they know.

_And you said you missed them._

Dean’s voice whispered in your mind. You were still getting used to that one, telling Dean to only use it if necessary. He was getting too much enjoyment out of talking to you from different rooms and reading your thoughts. Body and soul, that was somewhat self-explanatory, the mind aspect was a mind fuck to say the least.

The voices were getting louder, the debating needed to stop.

“Enough,” Dean said sternly. The room simmered down. He pushed himself off of you to look at his family as he spoke. “You’re not even back half an hour and you’re already pissing me off.”

“But Dean…” His brother started up.

“I mean it Sam,” Dean warned. He put his hands on the table, eyeing up each person around the table. “I’ve had it with you three debating over how best Y/N and I should raise Jack, what we can and can’t do, what we should be doing and what we’re not doing enough of, I’ve had it.”

“We’re only trying to help boy.” Bobby piped up.

“I know Bobby, dammit I know but it’s too much ok?” Dean said. “You wanna help, make sure we have enough supplies for him, make sure he’s happy and he’s diaper is clean. Don’t go around barking orders at Y/N and I expecting us to listen to them cause in case you’ve forgotten we’re alphas, mated ones.”

_Good speech. _Dean rolled his eyes at you. The silence was kind of deafening. A stamp of your authority and power within the bunker. If you two had a flag you’d raise it.

“Officially top of the food chain.” Charlie noted trying to lighten the mood. You smiled quietly at her.

“Really?” Claire asked.

“Pretty much, can’t get any higher than an alpha mated to another alpha,” Charlie shrugged. “I mean you two must be on some kind of cosmic power trip am I right?”

“Something like that,” You swung your legs around to sit on the table. “Still me, just extra.”

“Extra badass.” Claire said.

“Damn straight.” Dean pulled out a chair to sit beside his brother.

And there you all were, back together, back in the bunker alive and kicking.

“So, tell us. What’s it like?” Sam asked.

You looked over at Dean, your mate. Those words gently vibrating through your body like your heart pumping blood around it. A thing that happened on its own accord, no thinking involved, your body just _knew _what to do like your body knew who Dean was. Every facet of him, every freckle, eyeroll, sigh, scoff, laugh, moan, all of it. You had the key to him and him to you. You spent so much of your life since the end of the world keeping people at bay, thought it was better that way and yet these last four days you never felt safer.

_Every freckle? Really Y/N?_

_GET OUT OF MY HEAD DEAN. _

He chuckled in his seat. The others looked confused. Dean put his hand out in front of him, gesturing for you to take the floor on explaining this bond to the rest of them.

You took a deep breath. “It’s like…”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finito :) 
> 
> Thanks for the kudos and comments along the way and yay for a happy ending x


End file.
